My mood is funkier than Funkmaster Flex. For some reason I can't decide if I'm irritable, tired or stressed. I've felt better I know that much. I'm going to need to pull out of it soon and not be grumpy and irritable while lifting and moving heavy objects, that will just lead to me saying, "F it I'm done."
Much of this week was spent wrapping things up. One last half day at my internship. I've got a meeting at my internship bright and early. 7 a.m. downtown Nashville early. Yuck. But then we all go to lunch to celebrate my departure. Immediately after that I'm going to run around like a crazy person trying to get things done, make it to an appointment and finish loading my car full of my stuff.
Let's see....After Thursday the rest of the week was swell. I went out with some social work people on Friday for drinks. I kind of felt like I was back in undergrad until I left at 11p.m. and came home to pack. I'm old and responsible. It was a good time, I'm going to miss those people. Saturday involved a whole lot of cleaning, packing and running errands. And then sitting around watching t.v. to avoid continuing anything productive. Pretty and Pink was on, I can't be held responsible for that. Today I spent about 5 hours on a project that I thought would take 2 so that pretty much kept me inside most of the day. I spent the other parts of the day running more errands. Blech. I'm way beyond wanting to do anything else right now. Apparently just whining will suffice.
OOOOK....Things to look forward to the next week include; moving into the new house with a handsome man (that likes to cook, bonus!). Having a few days to get things organized and in order before I start my new job, perfect timing. Exploring vintage furniture stores in Louisville to start filling up that house. Looking for a hobby outside of watching people ride mopeds and skateboarding (I can't do it). I'm also setting a goal to use ONE of the recipes I've pinned on pinterest within the next 10 days (exciting, I know).
Lot's to do. Back to work, or maybe just getting ready for bed.
Have a wonderful week. :)
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Thursday, April 26, 2012
luaville, looeeville, loovul...what?
Four more days and I move from Music City, U.S.A. to Louisville, which I'm not aware if it has an official nickname. I'm sure it does with Derby and the Hot Brown and all that. Kentucky is known as the Bluegrass state, I do know that.
Kentucky fun fact:
The Presidents of the Union and the Confederate were born in Kentucky.
The Mammoth Caves are the longest cave system in the world.
and Post-It notes are manufactured in Kentucky.
Anyway. On Tuesday morning, obnoxiously early, I will be travelling 183 miles up 65 North to start the next chapter of my life. Yikes.
I'm still trying to process everything that's going on in my head. I just found out today that I got the job I interviewed for last Friday. I've been a ball of nerves since the interview because not having a job would put a lot of stress on an already stressful situation. So seemingly I've got everything situated. I have a job, an internship, an amazing place to live, a fantastic boyfriend....Damn I am lucky. And stressing for no reason. It's a big change, I love change but it's still anxiety-inducing. A year is fast to be moving in with someone, even though I'm confident things will be fine. What's the worst that could happen? It doesn't work out and I have to move again. It's not like I haven't survived it. Thankfully though we communicate well and we are very conscientious of each other's feelings. Two very important things to be successful. Plus I've been reading and researching and analyzing enough to feel satisfied with our decision.
So in the between time of finishing up school and my internship I've been slowly packing and cleaning and watching really terrible t.v. Like Kardashian terrible. It's ok pretty soon I won't have cable again and I'll go back to reading and netflix. I've also spent an exorbitant amount of time on apartmenttherapy.com and craigslist looking for ideas for the house, vintage furniture I can pull apart and make pretty, and space saving techniques. I'm old.
So on to the next beginning, whatever it may bring.
Kentucky fun fact:
The Presidents of the Union and the Confederate were born in Kentucky.
The Mammoth Caves are the longest cave system in the world.
and Post-It notes are manufactured in Kentucky.
Anyway. On Tuesday morning, obnoxiously early, I will be travelling 183 miles up 65 North to start the next chapter of my life. Yikes.
I'm still trying to process everything that's going on in my head. I just found out today that I got the job I interviewed for last Friday. I've been a ball of nerves since the interview because not having a job would put a lot of stress on an already stressful situation. So seemingly I've got everything situated. I have a job, an internship, an amazing place to live, a fantastic boyfriend....Damn I am lucky. And stressing for no reason. It's a big change, I love change but it's still anxiety-inducing. A year is fast to be moving in with someone, even though I'm confident things will be fine. What's the worst that could happen? It doesn't work out and I have to move again. It's not like I haven't survived it. Thankfully though we communicate well and we are very conscientious of each other's feelings. Two very important things to be successful. Plus I've been reading and researching and analyzing enough to feel satisfied with our decision.
So in the between time of finishing up school and my internship I've been slowly packing and cleaning and watching really terrible t.v. Like Kardashian terrible. It's ok pretty soon I won't have cable again and I'll go back to reading and netflix. I've also spent an exorbitant amount of time on apartmenttherapy.com and craigslist looking for ideas for the house, vintage furniture I can pull apart and make pretty, and space saving techniques. I'm old.
So on to the next beginning, whatever it may bring.
Monday, April 23, 2012
He has an affinity for asking about smells.
I'm currently sitting on the couch watching I, Robot. At this point it wouldn't matter what was on, I'm not moving. Mostly because I don't feel like finding the remote and because I am allowed to be this lazy. I have completed all of the assignments for my first year of grad school. WOOHOO! School's out for summer (yes you should sing that like Alice Cooper would). I'm still waiting on grades for some assignments, I'm going to be surprised if I end up with a 4.0 again this semester. If I do it will be a squeaker.
Oh what a week, what a week. On Monday after classes I went immediately to work on other assignments. For the following three days I spent a minimum of 6 hours per day working on projects, after class or the internship. I did nothing but eat and breathe social work all week. On Thursday I spent the night babysitting and immediately left for Louisville afterward. I got to Louisville around 3 a.m. and got up at 8 to get ready for my 3 interviews. Woof.
Friday was a whirlwind of crazy. My first interview was at 9:30 for an internship. It was at Kentucky Youth Advocates and my first choice for placement. The interview went well and they offered to take me on as an intern. Elated yet still nervous for the others I drove 10 miles back downtown to interview at Legal Aid. The woman I was interviewing with had an eye emergency and was expected to be in within the hour. I wandered around downtown and waited. I went back and she still wasn't there. I had some time to kill before the job interview so I went to the Wrench to see J while he helped with registration for the moped rally. Legal Aid got back to me and asked me to come in after the job interview. Ok. So I drove back out of town for the interview which went really well but the offer may be contingent upon my driving record (no joke, speeding tickets may keep me from getting it). Left happy but concerned and kicking myself for habitually speeding to St. Johns, MI for work. UGHH, seriously I will punch myself.
Anyway, after the job interview I headed back down to legal aid. After an hour and a half interview I left there with another offer and my head kind of spinning. It would have been amazing if I was done for the day, but no. I went home and finished and revised my 16 page paper. I emailed it and did a little dance. Sweet, sweet freedom. I headed back to the Wrench for drinks and moped rally festivities. We ended up at a different dive bar not too far away. There were a massive amount of people in that tiny bar, thankfully I knew a few and was able to maintain a conversation without clamming up with anxiety. The drinks helped that too. Too many drinks. The 5 kids that were staying in J's apartment finally showed and after far too much bourbon we went (I didn't drive) to Spinelli's. It's like a punk pizza bar...there was graffiti and half of a car in there. The bathrooms made me want to put a HazMat suit on before considering using the facilities. The music was great and the pizza wasn't bad either, though drunk pizza is always better. Moped rallies are never relaxing and include sleep deprivation. Seven people slept in an apartment that can't be bigger than about 550 sq feet. Packed. Not enough sleep and running late after Jason made breakfast for everyone we rushed to the park where the rally was meeting. There was an adult Easter egg hunt that we set up for in a small field. I have never seen 20 somethings get so excited about pastel plastic eggs but it was awesome. There were gag prizes and other cool things in the eggs. Skinny jeans, tattoos, piercings and they all turn into children as soon as you mention Egg hunt.
The rally continued with food, more drinking and a game at home while others went on to the fireworks. It was freezing and the 9 of us didn't feel like staying outside. We played that game where you put a name on a card and the person wearing it on their forehead and has to guess what it is by asking questions. It probably has a name, that's irrelevant. Someone got Duane The Rock Johnson and had everyone cracking up. After the group returned we went back to the bar where I continued to act like I was back in college and drink more than necessary. I even danced. Yes, that drunk. It was a really good time and I'm glad I didn't get all anxious and awkward, I mean for the most part.
Sunday after saying goodbye to the guests J and I had a perfectly lazy Sunday with movies, nerdy board games and chicken shawarma. I'm so happy with things.
I can't wait to finish up my internship and move into the house. I finally got to see it Saturday. It is fantastic and huge. I don't know what we're going to do with all that space, I'm sure we'll find something.
Easy week ahead, hopefully I'll know about the job so I can either feel relieved or have a melt down and apply to every job opening ever. Or start selling things out of my storage unit.
Have a wonderful week.
Oh what a week, what a week. On Monday after classes I went immediately to work on other assignments. For the following three days I spent a minimum of 6 hours per day working on projects, after class or the internship. I did nothing but eat and breathe social work all week. On Thursday I spent the night babysitting and immediately left for Louisville afterward. I got to Louisville around 3 a.m. and got up at 8 to get ready for my 3 interviews. Woof.
Friday was a whirlwind of crazy. My first interview was at 9:30 for an internship. It was at Kentucky Youth Advocates and my first choice for placement. The interview went well and they offered to take me on as an intern. Elated yet still nervous for the others I drove 10 miles back downtown to interview at Legal Aid. The woman I was interviewing with had an eye emergency and was expected to be in within the hour. I wandered around downtown and waited. I went back and she still wasn't there. I had some time to kill before the job interview so I went to the Wrench to see J while he helped with registration for the moped rally. Legal Aid got back to me and asked me to come in after the job interview. Ok. So I drove back out of town for the interview which went really well but the offer may be contingent upon my driving record (no joke, speeding tickets may keep me from getting it). Left happy but concerned and kicking myself for habitually speeding to St. Johns, MI for work. UGHH, seriously I will punch myself.
Anyway, after the job interview I headed back down to legal aid. After an hour and a half interview I left there with another offer and my head kind of spinning. It would have been amazing if I was done for the day, but no. I went home and finished and revised my 16 page paper. I emailed it and did a little dance. Sweet, sweet freedom. I headed back to the Wrench for drinks and moped rally festivities. We ended up at a different dive bar not too far away. There were a massive amount of people in that tiny bar, thankfully I knew a few and was able to maintain a conversation without clamming up with anxiety. The drinks helped that too. Too many drinks. The 5 kids that were staying in J's apartment finally showed and after far too much bourbon we went (I didn't drive) to Spinelli's. It's like a punk pizza bar...there was graffiti and half of a car in there. The bathrooms made me want to put a HazMat suit on before considering using the facilities. The music was great and the pizza wasn't bad either, though drunk pizza is always better. Moped rallies are never relaxing and include sleep deprivation. Seven people slept in an apartment that can't be bigger than about 550 sq feet. Packed. Not enough sleep and running late after Jason made breakfast for everyone we rushed to the park where the rally was meeting. There was an adult Easter egg hunt that we set up for in a small field. I have never seen 20 somethings get so excited about pastel plastic eggs but it was awesome. There were gag prizes and other cool things in the eggs. Skinny jeans, tattoos, piercings and they all turn into children as soon as you mention Egg hunt.
The rally continued with food, more drinking and a game at home while others went on to the fireworks. It was freezing and the 9 of us didn't feel like staying outside. We played that game where you put a name on a card and the person wearing it on their forehead and has to guess what it is by asking questions. It probably has a name, that's irrelevant. Someone got Duane The Rock Johnson and had everyone cracking up. After the group returned we went back to the bar where I continued to act like I was back in college and drink more than necessary. I even danced. Yes, that drunk. It was a really good time and I'm glad I didn't get all anxious and awkward, I mean for the most part.
Sunday after saying goodbye to the guests J and I had a perfectly lazy Sunday with movies, nerdy board games and chicken shawarma. I'm so happy with things.
I can't wait to finish up my internship and move into the house. I finally got to see it Saturday. It is fantastic and huge. I don't know what we're going to do with all that space, I'm sure we'll find something.
Easy week ahead, hopefully I'll know about the job so I can either feel relieved or have a melt down and apply to every job opening ever. Or start selling things out of my storage unit.
Have a wonderful week.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Looking at the finish line
Oy.......Today is one of those days I could use a hug or a swift kick in the butt. I'm grumpy and not feeling well. Stress+not enough sleep+allergies= miserable Shannon. I just keep telling myself, "a few more days and it will all be over." Sadly I'm so exhausted that time seems to be crawling. I'll make it.
Suffice it to say I didn't do too many exciting things this week. I know, really makes you want to read on, huh? We'll just recap the highlights.
Class. Very exciting. Internship, pretty damn good this week. On Tuesday after coming home from my internship I realized there were flowers on the kitchen counter for me with a note from my wonderful boyfriend. "Just because" flowers are the best. I like that we both take opportunities to show our appreciation for each other. It's not usually with gifts (we're both college students and poor) but gestures like that are important in a relationship. I think sometimes people (myself included) get so busy with their life that they forget to appreciate what they've got. I could use some improvement in that department with showing my friends.
Anyway, the rest of the week was spent feverishly working on school stuff. Heavily weighted projects are all due next week so I'm plugging away. Friday at my internship we had a trainer come in (coincidentally he teaches at UT) and taught Motivational Interviewing. It's a therapeutic approach that's been really successful with mandated clients or substance abuse clients. It was a really great training and I'm glad I was allowed to participate, especially considering I don't even work with clients at my internship. It got me thinking about doing therapy and the clinical side of social work. I spent some time talking with the trainers and they made some suggestions regarding my second year classes. I then found out that the trainer went to school in Louisville, where he got his Masters and Doctorate. Apparently at U of L they don't track students as 'clinical' or 'macro' you get both types of classes. One more reason I should have followed my instinct several years ago and went there. I started thinking about getting my PhD. As much as school is beating me into submission right now, I still enjoy it. Could I do this again? I would like to research and eventually teach. I wouldn't even start a program like that until I had a majority of my loans taken care. I don't know how people do it.
In other news we got our house! It's the most dreamy house a girl like me could want and rent (within my current financial constraints). The move in date is much sooner than anticipated but we couldn't wait because the house would have went to someone else. I'm excited and nervous but I'm trying to avoid worrying right now because I have way more pressing matters to handle with school.
I'm really looking forward to the end of next week when I get to interview for a job and a field placement as well as see the house in person. (J tells me it's amazing). Then the Bandit rally and Thunder Over Louisville. (http://thunderoverlouisville.org/)
Have a fantastic week, I am just hoping to survive it.
Suffice it to say I didn't do too many exciting things this week. I know, really makes you want to read on, huh? We'll just recap the highlights.
Class. Very exciting. Internship, pretty damn good this week. On Tuesday after coming home from my internship I realized there were flowers on the kitchen counter for me with a note from my wonderful boyfriend. "Just because" flowers are the best. I like that we both take opportunities to show our appreciation for each other. It's not usually with gifts (we're both college students and poor) but gestures like that are important in a relationship. I think sometimes people (myself included) get so busy with their life that they forget to appreciate what they've got. I could use some improvement in that department with showing my friends.
Anyway, the rest of the week was spent feverishly working on school stuff. Heavily weighted projects are all due next week so I'm plugging away. Friday at my internship we had a trainer come in (coincidentally he teaches at UT) and taught Motivational Interviewing. It's a therapeutic approach that's been really successful with mandated clients or substance abuse clients. It was a really great training and I'm glad I was allowed to participate, especially considering I don't even work with clients at my internship. It got me thinking about doing therapy and the clinical side of social work. I spent some time talking with the trainers and they made some suggestions regarding my second year classes. I then found out that the trainer went to school in Louisville, where he got his Masters and Doctorate. Apparently at U of L they don't track students as 'clinical' or 'macro' you get both types of classes. One more reason I should have followed my instinct several years ago and went there. I started thinking about getting my PhD. As much as school is beating me into submission right now, I still enjoy it. Could I do this again? I would like to research and eventually teach. I wouldn't even start a program like that until I had a majority of my loans taken care. I don't know how people do it.
In other news we got our house! It's the most dreamy house a girl like me could want and rent (within my current financial constraints). The move in date is much sooner than anticipated but we couldn't wait because the house would have went to someone else. I'm excited and nervous but I'm trying to avoid worrying right now because I have way more pressing matters to handle with school.
I'm really looking forward to the end of next week when I get to interview for a job and a field placement as well as see the house in person. (J tells me it's amazing). Then the Bandit rally and Thunder Over Louisville. (http://thunderoverlouisville.org/)
Have a fantastic week, I am just hoping to survive it.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Hansel and Gretel take a ride
The end is near! It is on the horizon.
No, I'm not talking about the world (who knows? maybe in December) I'm talking about my first year of grad school. Holy balls it can't come soon enough. Speaking of the end of the world though, was anyone else a little relieved when that heat wave let up a bit? I'm sorry but 85 degrees in March just screams tidal waves of water washing out the coasts and the sun so hot people begin just melting. That's kind of how I imagine the world coming to an end. The coasts get washed away and every one else either burns to death from the heat of the sun or gets eaten by polar bears that travel further South to find food. I'm no scientist so I may want to do some research on that whole scenario. Al Gore, you got anything? NPR isn't helping because they just keep informing me that these shifts in weather are unprecedented or there are strange weather trends this time of year.
Anyway....this week was boring. Except for today but I'll get to that later, I bet you can't wait! Don't read ahead that just negates my ability to make you wait (by you I mean the 5 people that read this). Classes, internship, blah blah. I've gotten everything organized for my last few assignments that are sprinkled out over the next three weeks. Most or them are fairly large assignments so I feel a little better about getting a jump on them. I will no doubt still be working on them at 1 a.m. the night before but it will be with a little less rabid intensity than if I were ill-prepared. I even finished a paper 2 days early and turned it in so I wouldn't need to work on it today. Does that mean I spent Friday night and Saturday night working on a paper? Yes, yes it does. I didn't do anything remotely cool or interesting unless you count watching Pretty Woman with my sister's dog and making remarks about Julia Robert's eyebrows aloud...to a dog...Dear God I need a life.
There are interesting things in the works regarding a new residence but I have to be patient. I am super excited about looking for place to live though. I'm also stoked that I have a job interview and a placement interview coming up within the next two weeks. Woot!
Today J and I decided to meet for an Easter picnic in Cave City, KY. This is the halfway point between Nashville and Louisville. It is also the home of Dinosaur World and the exit to get to Mammoth Caves National Park. We met at Dino World and wanted to picnic under the T-Rex but they were open so that idea was quashed. We then decided to head to Mammoth Caves to find a park to picnic at instead. We ended up at the Green River Ferry and decided to have it there. After eating and worrying about tics and lyme disease we got in the car and decided to drive, nowhere in particular we just really wanted to cross that crazy river ferry. So we drove, and drove until we finally happened upon a sign for a lake and State park. That sounded great! What the sign didn't tell us was that the lake was MILES away and it was man made and crazy looking. We made jokes that the signs for the lake were put up by locals to funnel tourists to a secluded area and cannibalize them. He had me laughing so hard I started crying. It was basically the German story of the old hag and the house made of candy. Seriously worst lake ever. Now I know growing up with the Great Lakes I've grown accustomed to Greatness but this was not even good. After wandering around the trails for a bit be continued the adventures with visiting random gift shops and hanging at a weird local restaurant to play nerdy board games. We ended the day with taking the Volvo up the side of Gun Mountain. That was mildly scary but the view was pretty cool. My boyfriend is phenomenal. Just sayin'.
Well I'm gearing up for some serious work over the next few weeks and then hopefully some work that pays. We shall see.
Hope everyone has a wonderful week.
No, I'm not talking about the world (who knows? maybe in December) I'm talking about my first year of grad school. Holy balls it can't come soon enough. Speaking of the end of the world though, was anyone else a little relieved when that heat wave let up a bit? I'm sorry but 85 degrees in March just screams tidal waves of water washing out the coasts and the sun so hot people begin just melting. That's kind of how I imagine the world coming to an end. The coasts get washed away and every one else either burns to death from the heat of the sun or gets eaten by polar bears that travel further South to find food. I'm no scientist so I may want to do some research on that whole scenario. Al Gore, you got anything? NPR isn't helping because they just keep informing me that these shifts in weather are unprecedented or there are strange weather trends this time of year.
Anyway....this week was boring. Except for today but I'll get to that later, I bet you can't wait! Don't read ahead that just negates my ability to make you wait (by you I mean the 5 people that read this). Classes, internship, blah blah. I've gotten everything organized for my last few assignments that are sprinkled out over the next three weeks. Most or them are fairly large assignments so I feel a little better about getting a jump on them. I will no doubt still be working on them at 1 a.m. the night before but it will be with a little less rabid intensity than if I were ill-prepared. I even finished a paper 2 days early and turned it in so I wouldn't need to work on it today. Does that mean I spent Friday night and Saturday night working on a paper? Yes, yes it does. I didn't do anything remotely cool or interesting unless you count watching Pretty Woman with my sister's dog and making remarks about Julia Robert's eyebrows aloud...to a dog...Dear God I need a life.
There are interesting things in the works regarding a new residence but I have to be patient. I am super excited about looking for place to live though. I'm also stoked that I have a job interview and a placement interview coming up within the next two weeks. Woot!
Today J and I decided to meet for an Easter picnic in Cave City, KY. This is the halfway point between Nashville and Louisville. It is also the home of Dinosaur World and the exit to get to Mammoth Caves National Park. We met at Dino World and wanted to picnic under the T-Rex but they were open so that idea was quashed. We then decided to head to Mammoth Caves to find a park to picnic at instead. We ended up at the Green River Ferry and decided to have it there. After eating and worrying about tics and lyme disease we got in the car and decided to drive, nowhere in particular we just really wanted to cross that crazy river ferry. So we drove, and drove until we finally happened upon a sign for a lake and State park. That sounded great! What the sign didn't tell us was that the lake was MILES away and it was man made and crazy looking. We made jokes that the signs for the lake were put up by locals to funnel tourists to a secluded area and cannibalize them. He had me laughing so hard I started crying. It was basically the German story of the old hag and the house made of candy. Seriously worst lake ever. Now I know growing up with the Great Lakes I've grown accustomed to Greatness but this was not even good. After wandering around the trails for a bit be continued the adventures with visiting random gift shops and hanging at a weird local restaurant to play nerdy board games. We ended the day with taking the Volvo up the side of Gun Mountain. That was mildly scary but the view was pretty cool. My boyfriend is phenomenal. Just sayin'.
Well I'm gearing up for some serious work over the next few weeks and then hopefully some work that pays. We shall see.
Hope everyone has a wonderful week.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Bootstraps and rants about ignorance
Lately I've found myself annoyed with all of the propaganda, fodder and facebook posts about the President, the other contenders and the 'hot topics.' I refuse to whine about politics on facebook because it just opens the floodgates for all sorts of problems, so I'll whine here instead.
I'm having trouble staying open-minded to other people's opinions when to me they just seem blatantly ignorant or plain wrong. Every one has a finger to point or a group to blame. The truth of it is, everyone needs to be accountable for the state of things, not just Democrats or Republicans, conservatives, liberals or right-wing nut jobs. I think sometimes people forget we are actually all on the same team here (even though my nut job comment kind of contradicts that).
I guess this all started after reading several posts by the same person on facebook about welfare recipients at Wal-Mart who are bad parents and lazy and spend HER money on chips and pop. Now I could just delete her ass off of my feed but then I wouldn't have anything to gripe about now would I?
It breaks my heart that people think things like that. How many people would choose to be poor? How many people would choose to get a government check for $163 a month (on average) and take food stamps into grocery stores just to be judged by people like that? There aren't as many people that take advantage of the system as one would think.
You know why we have people that are dependent on public support? Because we created that problem with our values and cultural beliefs. Women couldn't vote until 1920, thus solidifying the thought their voices aren't as important as a man's because it took 144 years to get someone to listen. How's that for making someone feel valued? It just really makes you want to contribute to a society that doesn't value a person, doesn't it? Women still make 77 cents to every dollar a man makes. And women weren't enslaved (in the traditional sense) for hundreds of years....Everyday that we continue to practice the beliefs that some people matter more or less or some groups of people don't 'deserve' to be Americans, we just push everyone down. We make people dependent on us by giving them less power. We make people value objects that display wealth which then translates into importance. Don't we all want to feel important? If I own expensive clothes then I must be important.
So I guess instead of complaining about the 'welfare queens' at Wal-Mart that are offending YOU by simply existing, maybe you should just shop somewhere else. Or maybe do something productive rather than spreading negative, stereotypical messages about people you don't know. Until you walk in someones shoes you have no idea what it's like to be them. Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is pretty ineffective when you constantly have people pushing you back down.
I'm having trouble staying open-minded to other people's opinions when to me they just seem blatantly ignorant or plain wrong. Every one has a finger to point or a group to blame. The truth of it is, everyone needs to be accountable for the state of things, not just Democrats or Republicans, conservatives, liberals or right-wing nut jobs. I think sometimes people forget we are actually all on the same team here (even though my nut job comment kind of contradicts that).
I guess this all started after reading several posts by the same person on facebook about welfare recipients at Wal-Mart who are bad parents and lazy and spend HER money on chips and pop. Now I could just delete her ass off of my feed but then I wouldn't have anything to gripe about now would I?
It breaks my heart that people think things like that. How many people would choose to be poor? How many people would choose to get a government check for $163 a month (on average) and take food stamps into grocery stores just to be judged by people like that? There aren't as many people that take advantage of the system as one would think.
You know why we have people that are dependent on public support? Because we created that problem with our values and cultural beliefs. Women couldn't vote until 1920, thus solidifying the thought their voices aren't as important as a man's because it took 144 years to get someone to listen. How's that for making someone feel valued? It just really makes you want to contribute to a society that doesn't value a person, doesn't it? Women still make 77 cents to every dollar a man makes. And women weren't enslaved (in the traditional sense) for hundreds of years....Everyday that we continue to practice the beliefs that some people matter more or less or some groups of people don't 'deserve' to be Americans, we just push everyone down. We make people dependent on us by giving them less power. We make people value objects that display wealth which then translates into importance. Don't we all want to feel important? If I own expensive clothes then I must be important.
So I guess instead of complaining about the 'welfare queens' at Wal-Mart that are offending YOU by simply existing, maybe you should just shop somewhere else. Or maybe do something productive rather than spreading negative, stereotypical messages about people you don't know. Until you walk in someones shoes you have no idea what it's like to be them. Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is pretty ineffective when you constantly have people pushing you back down.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
What sounds like 30 lawn mowers running?
I feel as if someone came into my room late last night and gave me a lobotomy. They would have had to have stayed up pretty damn late because I didn't end up falling asleep until after 5. Sneaky bastard.
Ugh. I've just been making a lot of noises and audible, incoherent thoughts. I was put in the position where I needed to be somewhat social and couldn't figure out how to effectively communicate without someone thinking I had an extra chromosome. That's my perspective anyway.
Let's start at the beginning of the week, when I was functioning more effectively as a human being. Remembering what I did is taking much more effort than I realized. There were some classes in there, and my internship where I was given more tasks that I hope I have time to complete in the next four weeks. I have a feeling 16 hours a week is going to be closer to over 20. Oh no there weren't classes. I skipped Monday to spend the day in Louisville and then on Wednesday we attended Social Work Day on the Hill.
I volunteered to help out with Social Work Day on the Hill, held by the NASW Tennessee chapter, and ended up getting there at 6 am to help set up. This is where the brain damage began. I got about three solid hours of sleep and then spent most of the day on my feet trying to help in whatever way I could. I also was able to sit in on a session in the general assembly with the Senate. I ended up shaking my head for a chunk of it and then got back to the festivities. I left there after helping to clean up thinking that I would go home and relax. Instead I decided to go study so after driving all the way home to get my books I headed to the cafe. Instead of making it there my tire blew out and I spent the next two hours dealing with changing it and purchasing an expensive new tire. After failing to jack up my car because the jack malfunctioned (bent in half) I had to call AAA to come help. I got done just in time to go babysit for a few hours then study. Cut to getting about 4 hours of sleep the next day, going to my internship and then doing it again on Friday I was a sleep deprived jerk.
Friday began the moped rally festivities here in Nashville. This is the very same rally that I went to this time last year and met Jason. Needless to say Friday didn't go as planned for J or I and I ended up at the dive in Hermitage and picked him up after midnight. Saturday was a bit more successful and after dropping him off to do his nerdy moped things I got some school work done and went to watch the UK/U of L game at Edgefield's in East Nashville. We watched the game, drank beer and waited around for the party at the garage to start. Once we got back to the garage after a few excursions things were getting underway. It was the typical moped rally with beer, skinny jeans, tattoos, exhaust fumes and other undesirable smells. I guess I need to get used to it. I watched people get drunk super early and stumble around. I made an effort to be social, mostly I talked to people I already knew and went through the motions of the obligatory introductions while wandering with J. I had a conversation about the difference between Northern and Southern girls. It was determined that girls from Michigan are definitely the coolest. I just continued being socially awkward and feeling uncomfortable while trying to make conversation. Overall I think it was a good time. Later while talking about it with my sisters boyfriend we differentiated moped gangs from motorcycle clubs. I equated mopeds to sounding like lawnmowers and decided that moped gangs are a sweeter, nicer version of motor cycle clubs. As far as I know there isn't any drug running or street warfare.
The sleep deprivation continues. It's also keeping me from finishing a paper that is due tomorrow. I keep getting distracted and watching people. I'm a creeper.
No news on next year's internships though I started applying for summer jobs in Louisville. I guess we'll see what happens. The universe is teaching me patience or how give myself an ulcer, I haven't decided.
Four more weeks. Four. I may vomit. Or go all hulk on something with all this bottled up anxiety. RAWR.
Have a good week, I just hope I survive.
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