Sunday, July 29, 2012

Reunited and it feels so good

You ever have one of those days where you hit every red light when you're running late, get a clump of hair ripped out of your scalp and moments later get bitten by a teenage girl more than once? No? Just me? Oh....To put it mildly, today was rough. At least I didn't get the punch that I blocked that resulted in the follicle massacre. I blocked incorrectly. It's my fault, I ignored the shoe that got thrown at me and a coworker so she needed some more attention drawn to her. It's a day like this when I wonder what it would be like to not even put my 2 weeks in and say F it. So, work hasn't been like that every day but most days I leave there wondering how poorly it would look it I just called in and didn't return. Ever. The funny thing is I have people telling me how good I am at my job. Ugh.
Enough of what sucks. Things that make me smile include my best friend moving in, getting over a horrendous cold and knowing that soon I will be starting school back up and I can't wait. Jason and I finally got a date night that included going to a bar called Meat and getting fancy overpriced cocktails. That was after getting overpriced alcoholic slushies. It was a fantastic, inebriated adventure around Louisville. We got to hang with Jasons friends, I hung with coworkers after work and made an effort to be social. I still suck at it but I'm working on it.
Yesterday Jen moved to town and made me do a little dance. It's going to be fantastic to have her back in my life on a regular basis. Her and I are both talking about job hunting and drinking too much. It seems counterproductive and it is but she's only been here a day. I'm happy that she's made the move, I just hope to make it as easy for her as possible. Transitions are tough, I know a thing or two about that.
Have a wonderful week. I just hope to remain intact.

Monday, July 16, 2012


I'm currently restoring my laptop to it's factory settings to see if this fixes the problem. Fingers crossed that it does, but with my luck as it has been over the last year or so, I'm guessing I'll be buying a new laptop soon. I wonder if Best Buy takes monopoly money....
Sometimes I wish life had a 'restore to factory settings' button. Not that I'd want to be back in the womb waiting to be pushed through a birth canal but maybe it'd be nice to reset some life decisions I've made so they were a little less impactful.(My phone says that's not a word but I'm going with it.) Eating better, drinking less and dumb habits (retail therapy) would be on that list. Its struggle city over here with the frustration of constant negative thoughts about my job, the inconvenience of a nonworking laptop to job hunt, and living paycheck to paycheck. All of these things could be remedied with effort, time, and self control. I thought we got smarter with age but I think I just get less patient.
The last week reminded me that I've been living in Louisville for a little over two months and I've got some work ahead of me to do if I want to be really happy. I've made friends at work, we even hang out outside of work but no one I feel like I can confide in, or that I'm comfortable enough to. This weekend was hard because Jason was out of town so I was made aware of how friendless and alone I am when he's not around. Texting, calling and facebooking just don't always cut it when everyone I know and love is long distance. Mildly pathetic I realize. I also realized that without school to keep me busy and skateboarding out of the picture, I'm bored. I need a hobby. I've got to have an untapped talent somewhere, right? Underwater basket weaving, perhaps?
Blah. The rest of the week was spent working and wishing I wasn't as well as happy hour drinks and reading on my front porch. We need to have a house party or visitors or something to get me out of the funk. I can't go up to random strangers and ask them to be my friend. I'm not young or cute enough for that. I'm looking forward to date night at some point this coming week as well as crossing more days off my calendar until the summer ends. What kind of sadistic person wants the summer to end? Yup....

Monday, July 9, 2012

But driving with a valid drivers license

I'm waiting to wash this dye out of my hair and realized I'm no longer on a blogging schedule. Sundays just come and go too quickly to squeeze writing time in most weeks. I'll send out some kleenex if anyone needs to dry their tears, I know people are chomping at the bit on Sundays to see what I've been up to.......(it's ok I laughed too).
This week went super fast, I have no idea how to make it speed like that but I'm looking in to it. I'm thinking about fast forwarding to August, wonder if anyone would mind. The beginning of the week last week was accompanied with some dread. There was no school or planned summer activities at work and without structure shit gets cray. CRAY. (I'm still debating if I can pull that off, most people sound much cooler when they say it. Maybe people have a thing against "z's".) The dorm I work in lacks structure and most of the people that work in there don't seem to like to uphold it because they get push back from the clients. I guess no one ever told them that's part of the job and you have to just stay consistent until they learn to accept it. NOPE. So, needless to say I spent most of the days looking for structured activities to keep them busy with and keep from having meltdowns. The rest of the week went like it was supposed to which lowered my anxiety, though it didn't seem to sit well with a majority of the clients. Fast forward to Thursday afternoon, I truck it home from work as fast as possible because my Mom is waiting outside of my house likely looking around my neighborhood wondering if she needs to buy some pepper spray. My neighborhood isn't that bad but when you come from small town Michigan it may be a bit of a shock. After touring her around the house we saw J up at work and had dinner. I worked for a few hours Friday while J toured my Mom around Louisville and and my Mom bought us a porch swing for the house. It's rad. I came home to Jason making a smoke bomb in the kitchen and my Mom worrying about the fumes spreading through the house. After hanging for a bit we made the trek to Nashville to see my sister. We ate amazing Thai food from my favorite restaurant and hung out. The next morning we drove all the way to the North Caroline/Tennessee border to pick up some little ones and turned back around and drove all the way back to Nashville. At this point no one wanted to be in a car. We ignored that feeling and went to the Rainforest Cafe since the kids had never been there. That place sucks. The service was terrible, I nearly had a seizure from the constant strobing lights (apparently 'lightning') and ridiculous animal noises that kept people from being able to hold a conversation without yelling like you were at a Foo Fighters concert. I'd have much rather ate a sack lunch at the zoo in the 110 degree heat. The kids were all smiles though so I'm going to call it a win. Sunday we went to the Country Throwdown tour since my sister's boyfriend's band was playing. The heat was so intense I half expected to see people and objects melting like in a Dali painting. I can't remember the last time I sweat from my ear lobes but I'm pretty sure it happened. We left shortly after they finished their set and my Mom and I headed back to Louisville for the night. She woke up as the sun was rising and I saw her off and slept in like it was my job. I was very grateful to have the day off. I was able to be super productive. I acquired a Kentucky drivers license, a library card and did some grocery shopping and reading on the new porch swing. Life's good. 
All in all pretty rocking week. Hope this coming week is just as good. 

Have a wonderful week :)

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Lifelong learner

Woweee. I don't know where my weekends go. Its already almost Thursday. I'm laying in bed listening to people on the street set off fireworks and firecrackers. I wish I didn't have to work in the morning or else I'd be out celebrating like most others. Not that I'm some super patriot, but holidays are a good excuse for gathering, drinking and setting things on fire.
So last week feels like a month ago. I barely remember what I did or how much fun it was. I know that I spent time at work. I know I probably complained about the disgusting heat and humidity as well as being at work in general. least I have a job. One of these days I'll have money in a savings account again and I won't be working at a job where I need to worry about getting bitten or wearing not so nice clothes just in case I have to manage a client. One of these days.
I was at work the other day thinking about impatience. We spend time to plan a 'field trip' and then rush through it and wonder when its time to leave because all of the kids are complaining. If thats the case though and we rush through things just to get them done rather than enjoy them for what they are,  what are we teaching the kids? We went hiking at a state park and instead of taking the time to enjoy the calm of the woods and the things around us we just looked at our feet as we followed the path back out of the woods. The lesson here I suppose is; we need to stop to smell the roses every once in a while. We need to teach these kids to appreciate whats around them. A much greater feat than most would think. Kids in the foster care/ juvenile justice system seem to be extremely ungrateful. Unfortunately when you get treated like you're worth nothing, you tend to see the things around you as not worth much either. It's hard to be grateful when you spend the first years of your life not getting what you need, let alone what you enjoy.
Anyway, sometimes I wonder if I get more out of working with the kids than what I can provide for them. I learn a ton about the human condition and remind myself of how good things really are for me comparatively.
I can't express how lucky I am to have the people in my life that I do. I may not be close with that many people but I'm grateful for the people that I can spend time with and truly be me.
In summation, life's pretty great. Even if the week wasn't that memorable there were still reasons to smile throughout. I worked, i spent time with my wonderful boyfriend and some new friends and I cleaned my house. Sounds boring? I'm perfectly fine with boring sometimes.
Oh and I started watching Game of Thrones. Nerding out.
Have a wonderful week. Or what's left of it.