Monday, December 27, 2010

Coming to you from the icy tundra (aka Michigan)

It's freezing here and everything is snow covered. One of the reasons I don't live here anymore though not the main reason because I really don't mind having a white Christmas. My parents don't have Internet at their house right now because my Dad's a procrastinator. Meh, it's ok because I found wi-fi at the McDonald's here which is weird considering I spent so much time working here in High School.
The flight to Michigan was good and we barely touched ground and I was already shopping with my Mom. That woman does not waste any time. I was able to pick out a present (a purse) from the Fossil store and helped to choose some other gifts for family. At times I feel like I revert back to 'teenagehood' when I visit from out of town because I don't have my own vehicle, I'm staying in my old room at my parents house and I have to give my whereabouts and ETA whenever I do leave the house.... I have no desire to relive those years in high school. Though I do like the idea of school clothes shopping and no bills, reaffirming my belief that I need to marry rich.... ha.
Visiting also reminds me of how disconnected I feel from a lot of people here and how much goes on that I miss when I'm not around. I suppose it's the price I pay for moving to a conservative state where I live above my means and continue to look for something more. That's another can of worms.
My Christmas was good. I was able to spend time with both sets of grandparents and see my brother and his family. We went on our annual trip to the casino which involved a lot more laughing than money winning and texting my Mom in the car. Didn't foresee that happening. I came out ahead and am happy about that. Plus my Aunt and Mom get together and feed off of each other, they get silly and a little crazy but hilarious... I wonder if I'll be like that when I'm older...I kind of am at times now.
Now it's time to figure out how to see a bunch of people I really want to see in just a few short days while borrowing my Mom's car. Hmm.
As much as I like being here I realized that I feel more at home now in Tennessee, or at least more comfortable. That doesn't mean I want it to be my permanent home but I suppose I'll enjoy it while I'm there and meet people and learn new things, finish my Masters and then head out... I've been toying with the idea of Colorado or Oregon, maybe Northern California...who knows I've got a few years to figure it out.
On a totally unrelated and semi-cryptic note I have been thinking alot about emotional maturity lately. I definitely agree more so now with the studies and research about how the brain is still developing until the age of about 25. All of the growth is taking place in the frontal lobe where the emotional processing and higher thought happens and I can see a difference in myself over the last few years I think. Not that I'm fully developed after hitting 25 but comparing myself to people I know in their early 20's I feel like I've got a better handle on myself. Maybe not...just thinking aloud. I do know I'm not as emotionally crazy or self conscious as I was.
I'll end by saying 2010 was by far one of the most life altering years I've had thus far and I look forward to more change and adventures in the next year.
Until next year....

Sunday, December 19, 2010

You can't tell meth jokes in the South.

This week I found further motivation to get stuff done. Well motivation to plan to get stuff done and found a legitimate excuse to put things off, going to the gym. I need to schedule my GRE and write a professional statement, oh I should go for a run....Ha, I did not miss a day this week. Yesterday I got to experience what it would be like to have a child at the gym and it added to the 'Cons' category of having a child...not that it's happening soon, but mentally preparing years in advance. Anyway, my 'gym' is in the apartment complex and is the size of my living room. They have 5 different weight machines, a stair climber and a treadmill. TINY. Also quite inconvenient when other people are there. I got to the workout room and both cardio machines were occupied as well as a weight machine by a two year old. I saw the toddler running around the gym sticking fingers between the weights, attempting to climb on the climber and also attempted to join his mother on the treadmill, luckily she kicked him to impede his success. Selfish baby, it was Mom's turn on the treadmill. He then decided he wanted to climb on my legs as I was doing leg lifts. I thanked him for offering the extra weight but told him I wasn't quite ready to move up. I also kept him from pinching his fingers in the weight machine two different times.  His mother giggled and continued running. I wanted to throw a stick on the treadmill.
I'm flying out to Michigan on Wednesday and am pretty excited to be spending 9 days with my family and friends. Not so excited about the snow and crappy weather though it will be nice to have a white Christmas. I'm not sure if New Years Eve in the mitten was the best decision but I think it will be a good time. The flight home the next day will likely be rough. Having that much time off of work is going to be crazy and I may get bored.
When I'm bored here, which I often am at night I turn to my best friend in Nashville, Netflix. I'm very reliant on this netflix character and he seems to really know what I like. I feel like Miranda and Tivo (Sex and the City reference, fyi). I'm currently watching a documentary on biological sex appeal. Apparently I'm lucky to have a relatively symmetrical face, hurrah. Netflix is teaching me alot including how to be a drug dealer, I hear meth is pretty big in the South.
I found something else I want for Christmas if anyone is interested:
I like Miss Kate Spade and her purses.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Why is all the bread gone?

It's currently snowing steadily outside, cold and quite pretty. It makes me want to go sledding or throw snowballs or stay inside watching Weeds for 4 hours while I watch it fall from my patio. It's freezing outside. I was told that here in Middle Tennessee people have a tendency to freak out a bit with this weather so I had to see for myself. I went to the grocery store to pick up some fruit and to see if all the bread and the milk was gone. The trip took an especially long time due to the drivers being extremely cautious, more so then when it's raining. The bread and milk appeared to be attacked by food pyramid zealots leaving skeleton-like shelves in the store.
The week was interesting. Work has been a bit more daunting and stressful than usual. Mostly because the kids have a tendency to lose their damn minds close to the holidays. I am used to this because in residential it was significantly worse. So, the week drug on and when Friday hit I did the Friday dance like never before. My sister and I went to watch her boyfriend play at a bar downtown for some charity. The bar was relatively busy and provided some excellent people watching as per usual. I'm pretty sure that at least one of the women dancing on the stage was pregnant. The bathroom attendant called me princess and felt the need to talk to me while I tried to pee. She was a hair insane. We attempted to avoid returning to the restroom and went to the extent of leaving the bar to look for another bathroom before returning and biting the bullet. I loathe being called princess. Afterward we went to a rock bar that had the potential of being cool if it wasn't trying so damn hard. After that we went to the Riverfront for beer and hang outs. It was a lot of fun and I got a chance to meet some really cool people. I continue to make an effort to be more outgoing and make friends, I think it was a success. Well that is until yesterday when I decided that I liked being angry and a hermit. Sometimes I ruminate myself into an angst coma that keeps me from doing anything social or productive...yesterday was that day. I stayed home and made art, or my version of art that's now hanging on the wall of my bedroom. I felt better once I had an outlet and danced around to 'Girl Anachronism' by The Dresden Dolls.
I miss my friends terribly and I think a lot of it had to do with this rut I've been in for the last two weeks. Who knows, I'm still trying to process and not be a bitch in the meantime. (more of a bitch than normal)
I want this for Christmas:

Sunday, December 5, 2010

under the sea

As of late I've been feeling a bit....indecisive. About a lot of things. People love choice, people live for choice. You can get overwhelmed by choice when ordering a coffee. I, on the other hand would almost prefer to not have any, or just have them limited for a little bit until I get my shit straight. Maybe I could hire a life coach to make my decisions for me and if it's the wrong one I'll just blame her....if only.
The week flew by and I was glad for it. I thought it was going to be rough after the holiday break but it was pretty smooth and quick like pulling off a band aid. My sister's dog stayed over for two nights and I nearly lost it. She will put anything in her mouth, she's like a blind hooker looking for cab fare. She nearly ate a wooden owl and destroyed my slipper, which is also an owl so I'm beginning to think she's got a bit of an issue with them. After giving her back my house felt a little empty and less active. It kind of made me want to get a pet. Preferably one that doesn't eat all of my stuff.
Friday I sat down at my computer at 4pm and got to work on the paper I had been procrastinating for weeks. Got it done and sent it in by 10pm. There was no reason for it to take 6 hours but it did and I had to cut it down because it was too long. I hate that.
Saturday I got crafty and decided to buy a big mirror to smash into little pieces to make something to hang on my wall, it sounds stupid but once it's finished I'm pretty sure it's going to be awesome. If not that shits still going on my wall based on principle alone. So....I went to Goodwill to look for a mirror and nearly gave up after scouring the home good sections until I was walking toward the door and saw a huge mirror for the top of a dresser. It was in a fancy wood frame that looked like something I would never put in my house so I knew I would smash that as well. $6 later and I'm in the parking lot attempting to shove this massive mirror into my trunk, and then into my back seat....front wasn't budging. Some friendly gentleman even attempted to help me get it in the car. It was freezing and his family was waiting so he gave up as well. Well I was taking that damn mirror home if I had to strap it to my hood. Sadly the only thing rope-like I had was my scarf and I needed that to keep my neck warm. No dice. Instead I decided to rip the backing off and ditch the wooden frame. After a lot of struggling and the pure strength of my fingers I set that mirror free and put it in my trunk. As for the frame it took a little walk with me behind the Goodwill and found a new home next to the padlocked dumpster. Sorry. My next adventure was to the craft store to get the rest of the supplies. During my hunt I found an entire line of BOB ROSS art supplies....I know what I want for Christmas. haha.
Bob Ross: The white painter with the 'fro from PBS.
I have a small obsession.
Anyway. I'm beginning to enjoy what I now call 'domesticated sundays' as in 'you bettah getcha self domesticated'
I'm also going to be making cookies for my teachers because I'm poor and am not buying them gifts. Let's hope for no food allergies I don't want to be responsible for sending a 64 year old teacher into anaphylactic shock. That would be a bad day at work....
So this week will hopefully bring some more clarity to me and my decision making. One can only hope.