handicapper's paradise

I'm currently updating from the cafe due to the lack of internet connection I'll be experiencing until between the hours of 5 and 7pm tomorrow. Comcast better make it quick. This could mean one of two things, I've recently moved into my own glorious aparmtment or I've been kidnapped and have been forced to set up an internet connection in a remote location for my kidnappers so they can still update their facebook statuses and email my parents for ransom. I'll leave that open to debate.
On a totally related note my parents came to visit the (erhmm) great state of Tennessee to be totally awesome and kick some furnishing and moving ass. My Dad is insistent on never listening to me and doing whatever the fuck he wants, damn those stubborn people, but typically I benefit fully from this because his actions are usually generous and helpful. Translation: he buys me things for my apartment after I've repeatedly told him no. I'm hard-pressed to do everything on my own without the help of other because quite frankly it makes me feel like an adult. I like that sense of accomplisment I get when I drain my bank account and purchase furniture for my apartment. I guess it's very adult of me to constantly be broke as well. Oops. My Mom was quite impressed with my taste in furniture and carpentry skills with the coffee table. She took it upon herself to congratulate herself on my good taste. I let her have it ignoring the fact that she collects ceramic birds. I fear that one day I'll be there myself, which was agreed upon by my sister.
Basically I spent the last week working and preparing to move and doing the necessary things that come along with that. I came across some more southern hospitality with the dude from Comcast. For the long wait on the telephone he locked in my cheap rate for internet and waived any installation fee. While we were waiting on his slow computer and talked about breeding pitbulls and going back to school. I listened patiently and humored him with my sarcasm, so I got a deal. Either that or he enjoyed my sexy, nasally voice and thought that I was a part time phone sex operator. It's an easy assumption to make. hah.
I also presented in class with my group and am relieved to be finished with that however I am now avoiding a paper that's due in 4 days. Oops.
I'm thinking about buying stock in target considering the large amount of cash I've dropped there over the last few weeks on stuff for my apartment, holy crap Super Target is amazing. I'm going to live there if I ever get evicted for not paying rent. I mean housing me is the least they can do considering the percentage of my pay check that goes to them.
After moving all day yesterday and visiting Target twice I was tired and really wanted to go chill with friends but couldn't muster the energy. Instead I finished unpacking and hung out with Jill and ate sushi. While doing so my friends decided to harass me for not coming out via text message. My favorite was 'Shannon you're a pussy and a five dollar hooker-Love Paul and Jason.' There were some random numbers and punctuation in there which leads me to believe they were already hammered at 10pm. The kids are on Fall Break so I imagine there will be some hang outs mid-week due to the lack of work we'll be doing. I'll get my revenge.
I hung some paintings and picture this morning including a framed picture colored by my best friend. She does amazing things with those crayola crayons and the evidence now resides on a wall in my bathroom, which is HUGE by the way. I think in constructing the apartment they intended for a differently-abled person (perhaps in a wheelchair) to use the pisser. My Mom said I could fit a treadmill in there (thanks Mom) and my sister suggested a cot. Instead I constructed a large storage rack with my bare hands and placed it in there. It was a win.
I think I'll like living on my own as long as I don't creep myself out with thoughts of intruders or abductions (human or alien) or talk to myself so frequently that I develop a second personality. (I would call her Sophia Danger and she would be the singer of a four piece prog rock band)
Next weekend will likely suck considering my birthday will be spent alone due to my sister working and friends being out of town. BUT the weekend after I will have visitors and it will be amazing. I just need to make sure I don't go into some kind of sugar induced coma on my birthday. One never knows what I'm capable left to my own devices on my birthday (number 25 at that).
I've been at the cafe for nearly four hours and the grooves of this chair are probably tattooed into my ass at this point so it's probably time to go. Until next time..