It's been much of the same old, same old. Orientation at work, cleaning this monster of a house while trying to figure out where to hang paintings and pictures while trying not to piss each other off by telling each other we don't like that cowboy boot lamp or that New Kids on the Block trunk (hypothetically, of course). On top of that my laptop keeps shutting itself down whenever it pleases and I continue to pretend it's going to fix itself. I sure as hell don't have the money to fix it since the warranty ended about 4 days ago.
I guess I'm struggling with all of the change that I've been partaking in but not processing. Within a week of ending my first year of grad school I moved to a different city into a huge house with my boyfriend and started a new job. I'm wondering what other kind of changes we could have thrown in there to really send me running for the hills. Sigh....it's not anything I can't handle, it's just uncomfortable which is a feeling, like most, I try to avoid. I mean I still don't know what I'm doing but I suppose I'll figure that out. The only place that feels like home right now is work.
I do miss coming home to a dog (even if she was a pain) and having my sister around as well as her boyfriend whom I'd liken more to a brother than anything. Though I now have B.C. who is like a dog and the opportunity to see J whenever I want without driving 180 miles. Part of me still feels like I'm supposed to drive home after this and wait for another weekend to come so I can visit again. Even with the job it still feels like this isn't where I live. I know that takes time but, like most, I am impatient.
The first week of orientation went by pretty quickly. Thursday and Friday were spent learning their restraint techniques. They are similar to the first residential I worked at with some exceptions. I'm mentally preparing for working back at a residential where kids punch and kick and bite and other much more extreme behaviors. I am one of the few going through training that has any idea what to really expect. The trainers try to be as honest and forthcoming as possible for what to expect but until you've actually seen it, you just don't know. All the talk about teens makes me miss my kids at Turning Point and makes me wonder how they are all doing. Par for the course I suppose.
I'm looking forward to finishing training this week and begin my shadow shifts so I can meet the girls and see for myself how this place really operates. If it's terrible there's an end date in August, if I like it they'll let me stay on part time. We'll see what happens.
In the meantime I'll continue training and getting uncomfortably close to my new coworkers while pretending they are aggressive teen girls. Weird.
Have a great week.
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