Thursday, October 25, 2012

27 years later and I still don't know a damn thing

So I'm 27 years and 1 day old. 324 months. 9,856 days roughly. My body feels older than my mind does. Mostly because of the arthritic knee from a tilted patella and tissue damage in one leg and a plate, screw and 7 pins in my ankle on the other. I've not been kind to my body. It's weird to think that I am in my late twenties and I think it has a lot to do with expectations. The expectations I have for myself with my increasing age and the expectations that society has for a woman of my age. A lot of the people I went to high school with are married, have kids, and real jobs and whatnot. I guess I've never been one to worry about what society expected of me.
So instead of wallowing in all of the things that I haven't accomplished in my 27 years on this earth, I'm going to think about the things that I have done that should make me proud to be where I am.
I graduated college at 21 with a Bachelors degree. I had personal health insurance and a life insurance policy by 22, I got promotions, experience, took chances and moved states away by the age of 24. I went back to school and will have my Masters degree in less than 7 months. I didn't do it all entirely on my own but I feel like for the most part I have made wise choices. I don't regret most things and feel really lucky that I've made it this far with no more than minor aches and pains from recreational mishaps.
When we were out for a birthday dinner Jason asked me some really great questions. 'What do you want to do in your 27th year,' 'What do you regret about last year?' 'What are you looking forward to in the next year?' Most of my answers were career and travel related. I told him I didn't feel like a grownup, he said he didn't either and neither of us were really sure if or when that feeling ever comes. 
The first day of my 27th year was pretty great due to my best friend and my boyfriend and family, and I hope that's an indication of how the rest of the year is going to progress. I'm feeling hopeful, like in my bones feel it for the first time in a while. I've got what I need here and I hope to hold onto it.
The things I have learned I try to carry with me everyday and the things still left to learn are infinite and glorious. There is still so much to learn. 
What I do know is that you can plan and do as much as you want but you've also got to expect some curve balls every so often. A post I saw today on facebook was a perfectly timed little nugget of greatness. "I get out of this world exactly what I put into it." I will continue living my life (as long or short as it may be) in a way that makes me a more positive and kind person than the day before, with the expectation of an 'off' day here and there. I need to spread around the positive if I want it in return, no more, no less. 
And I just need to be me. 
In the eloquent words of Dee Dee Ramone:
I give what I've got to give
I give what I need to live
I give what I've got to give
It's important if I wanna live
I wanna live
I want to live my life
I wanna live
I want to live my life


1 comment:

  1. Life is a marathon, not a sprint :-) GREAT blog!! I'm glad I found it. I hope you don’t mind me visiting :) it’s always good to find fellow Kentucky bloggers!! keithawynn2011.blogspot.com

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