insert Gossip lyrics here

It's not like today has been overly trying or bad things happened, on the contrary I got to spend some time with a friend and sleep in late, but I still have the looming black cloud hanging around me. She only comes out when I'm by myself or really in my own head. I will call her Norma. It's kind of like when Dexter talks about his 'dark passenger' and how it's always there reminding him of the person he is and keeping him from ever ridding himself of the bad things he does. That's like an extreme version of Norma, because I don't feel homicidal (unless stuck in Nashville traffic) I just have Norma always tagging along trying to ruin my mood. Most of the people in my life are aware that I struggle with staying positive at times because they've had to put up with my crazy ass. Some people stick around and some don't. To hell with them if they don't. I also think Norma is the reason that I am drawn to people that are fragile or emotionally vulnerable because I can relate. I like to be helpful and 'fix' people's problems, even if it's just by listening. Admittedly I have an insane amount of patience for people and their problems but somedays I want nothing to do with hearing about other people's problems. NOTHING. After getting into the habit of always being the listener though, people begin to expect you to do just that. 99.9% of the time that's what I'm going to do and it's going to make me happy. 0.01% of the time I'm going to sit there, say nothing and become really aggravated. This is one of those weeks that I've felt that way off and on. No matter how many times I tell myself I'm being irrational, I still get irrational. No matter how much encouragement I get, I still don't like myself. Norma is a bitch. 

Anyway....back to the regular stuff. This week I struggled with not having a laptop because I've gotten into so much of a habit if having it when studying, even when I don't need it, that it kind of threw me for a loop. That and being without Spotify when I study makes me a sad girl. (I know I'm SO deprived, right?Just like those kids in Africa) So much of the time I went to the computer lab at school or tried (and failed) to read at home. Thankfully my sister has not needed her macbook and is letting my borrow it. I'm not technologically savvy so there would be no need for me to ever own a Mac but they are just so damn cool that it's crossed my mind. Tuesday night my car kept stalling for no reason so Wednesday morning I sat in Firestone for several hours while they replaced a Mass air flow sensor that seemed to fix the problem. Damn I wish I had my Dad's mechanical skills. Thursday aside from the show at 12th and Porter I was able to attend the NASW's legislative committee meeting and talk about the bills that are in front of the general assembly or committees in TN that will effect marginalized people. There are some 1,100 bills right now, they narrowed it to about 130 high priority bills. Some of the bills are trying to drug test unemployment recipients, drug test people receiving public welfare, criminalizing homeless acts, and my personal favorite is taking away public assistance if your child doesn't perform well in school. Oh Tennessee, you make me want to puke a little. Some of them won't pass, some of them will and we will do what we can to make the best of it. The legislative committee was cool because these people nerd out on this stuff as much as I do, or more. Friday we (my policy group and I) went down to legislative plaza to talk to some people that are camped out there for Occupy Nashville. We got a better idea of how the current legislation that is going through the approval process is going to effect their cause. We spoke to one of the men that spoke in front of the TN senate about the bill. He was extremely well-informed and passionate about the movement. It got me all fired up and we ended up talking to him for over an hour. I'm so glad we went down there to get another perspective. Saturday I watched Jill and some people she works with willingly jump into a 39 degree lake for a Special Olympics fundraiser then we went to Thai. I liked both, I suspect Thai was more fun than the lake for her. 

I've been procrastinating this reading long enough. Time to go read about depression. Ironic.

Hope you have an excellent week. I get to visit J and see a friend visiting from Detroit so my week is going to be awesome.