I really, really wanted to talk to my best lady friend about what has been going on lately and some recent developments. Then I watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother, which then turned into 4 episodes, it's now 1:30 (2:30 Michigan time). I should have been sleeping hours ago and had every intention to but then I got all wound up thinking about things and here we are....When I have anxiety the first thing that gets effected is my sleep which I hate with a passion. Then it spirals and I wake up crabby after sleeping too little and it puts a damper on the start of the day.
Anyway, after talks and thinking and worrying I decided that I need to just take a chance on things and see how they ride out.
A very wise and attractive man once told me (it was tonight actually) that you're not really living if you're not doing the things that make you happy. That's paraphrased but you get the idea. I've tried and tried to just go with things and take chances but never without agonizing over them afterward. If I get the chance to worry about things then I will worry. I'm mildly crazy (don't tell my boyfriend) and don't really like leaving things to chance. However, I do need to work on saying 'yes' more often and feel happy about the decisions that I make. And make the decisions that make me feel happy.
I know I've had people in the past tell me these things too but I need to move that way at my own pace. I think at least I'm moving in the right direction. Literally and figuratively.
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