Why is all the bread gone?

It's currently snowing steadily outside, cold and quite pretty. It makes me want to go sledding or throw snowballs or stay inside watching Weeds for 4 hours while I watch it fall from my patio. It's freezing outside. I was told that here in Middle Tennessee people have a tendency to freak out a bit with this weather so I had to see for myself. I went to the grocery store to pick up some fruit and to see if all the bread and the milk was gone. The trip took an especially long time due to the drivers being extremely cautious, more so then when it's raining. The bread and milk appeared to be attacked by food pyramid zealots leaving skeleton-like shelves in the store.
The week was interesting. Work has been a bit more daunting and stressful than usual. Mostly because the kids have a tendency to lose their damn minds close to the holidays. I am used to this because in residential it was significantly worse. So, the week drug on and when Friday hit I did the Friday dance like never before. My sister and I went to watch her boyfriend play at a bar downtown for some charity. The bar was relatively busy and provided some excellent people watching as per usual. I'm pretty sure that at least one of the women dancing on the stage was pregnant. The bathroom attendant called me princess and felt the need to talk to me while I tried to pee. She was a hair insane. We attempted to avoid returning to the restroom and went to the extent of leaving the bar to look for another bathroom before returning and biting the bullet. I loathe being called princess. Afterward we went to a rock bar that had the potential of being cool if it wasn't trying so damn hard. After that we went to the Riverfront for beer and hang outs. It was a lot of fun and I got a chance to meet some really cool people. I continue to make an effort to be more outgoing and make friends, I think it was a success. Well that is until yesterday when I decided that I liked being angry and a hermit. Sometimes I ruminate myself into an angst coma that keeps me from doing anything social or productive...yesterday was that day. I stayed home and made art, or my version of art that's now hanging on the wall of my bedroom. I felt better once I had an outlet and danced around to 'Girl Anachronism' by The Dresden Dolls.
I miss my friends terribly and I think a lot of it had to do with this rut I've been in for the last two weeks. Who knows, I'm still trying to process and not be a bitch in the meantime. (more of a bitch than normal)
I want this for Christmas:

under the sea

As of late I've been feeling a bit....indecisive. About a lot of things. People love choice, people live for choice. You can get overwhelmed by choice when ordering a coffee. I, on the other hand would almost prefer to not have any, or just have them limited for a little bit until I get my shit straight. Maybe I could hire a life coach to make my decisions for me and if it's the wrong one I'll just blame her....if only.
The week flew by and I was glad for it. I thought it was going to be rough after the holiday break but it was pretty smooth and quick like pulling off a band aid. My sister's dog stayed over for two nights and I nearly lost it. She will put anything in her mouth, she's like a blind hooker looking for cab fare. She nearly ate a wooden owl and destroyed my slipper, which is also an owl so I'm beginning to think she's got a bit of an issue with them. After giving her back my house felt a little empty and less active. It kind of made me want to get a pet. Preferably one that doesn't eat all of my stuff.
Friday I sat down at my computer at 4pm and got to work on the paper I had been procrastinating for weeks. Got it done and sent it in by 10pm. There was no reason for it to take 6 hours but it did and I had to cut it down because it was too long. I hate that.
Saturday I got crafty and decided to buy a big mirror to smash into little pieces to make something to hang on my wall, it sounds stupid but once it's finished I'm pretty sure it's going to be awesome. If not that shits still going on my wall based on principle alone. So....I went to Goodwill to look for a mirror and nearly gave up after scouring the home good sections until I was walking toward the door and saw a huge mirror for the top of a dresser. It was in a fancy wood frame that looked like something I would never put in my house so I knew I would smash that as well. $6 later and I'm in the parking lot attempting to shove this massive mirror into my trunk, and then into my back seat....front seat...it wasn't budging. Some friendly gentleman even attempted to help me get it in the car. It was freezing and his family was waiting so he gave up as well. Well I was taking that damn mirror home if I had to strap it to my hood. Sadly the only thing rope-like I had was my scarf and I needed that to keep my neck warm. No dice. Instead I decided to rip the backing off and ditch the wooden frame. After a lot of struggling and the pure strength of my fingers I set that mirror free and put it in my trunk. As for the frame it took a little walk with me behind the Goodwill and found a new home next to the padlocked dumpster. Sorry. My next adventure was to the craft store to get the rest of the supplies. During my hunt I found an entire line of BOB ROSS art supplies....I know what I want for Christmas. haha.

Bob Ross: The white painter with the 'fro from PBS.
I have a small obsession.
Anyway. I'm beginning to enjoy what I now call 'domesticated sundays' as in 'you bettah getcha self domesticated'
I'm also going to be making cookies for my teachers because I'm poor and am not buying them gifts. Let's hope for no food allergies I don't want to be responsible for sending a 64 year old teacher into anaphylactic shock. That would be a bad day at work....
So this week will hopefully bring some more clarity to me and my decision making. One can only hope.

planes, trains and automobiles...

It was only five hours ago that I was exiting a plane at Nashville International Airport and a little relief and a little sadness. This vacation felt way too short and rushed. It felt good to get back to a little bit warmer weather and my apartment that now feels like home to me. The vacation consisted of this: drive, see amazing person, drive more, see more amazing people, drive some more, see more amazing people, and so on until today.
I woke up at 3:15am wednesday morning excited and exhausted. I was concerned about the airport security and long lines so I wanted to be at the airport early for my 6:15 flight. Early I was and totally underwhelmed by the slow and steady motions I went through in the security line. No protesters, no body scans, and no one screaming or crying. I did hear a lady yell 'My dildo' to her friend at 4:30am and that pretty much set a precedent for awesomeness for the rest of the trip. After boarding the plane I realized I had a window seat (score!) next to a couple and baby (frowny face). Don't get me wrong I love babies but I don't love babies as much at 5:30am on an airplane. I kept my mouth shut and my headphones on, nodded off for about 15 minutes of the short flight and became a bit more alert as the plane descended toward Metro airport. I shut the window screen to keep the sun out of the baby's eyes and realized he was pretty damn cute once I became less grouchy. I chatted with his parents a bit and felt bad for assuming they were sucky people for sitting next to me with a child so early. The baby didn't even cry, he kept trying to touch me and smiled a lot. Once leaving the airport I got a rental (enterprise rapes people during the holidays-theoretically of course, literal rape would have set a different tone for vacation) and I drove immediately to see my best friend and hang out before she had to work. After that I got to see two former clients at TPYC, hung out with Greer and the Scubes and ended my night pleasantly surprised. Family hangouts were excellent. My niece is developing into a sassy 14 month old which is awesome and my nephew never ceases to amaze me. China Lite with Grandma haha, because it is a requirement while in the mitten to get the world's best egg roll with the world's coolest Grandma. More hangouts, friends, and fun. Not living in Michigan makes me appreciate my friends and family even more so considering the effort that takes place to see me. The trip overall was amazing and the only thing that would have made it better was more time. Thankfully my job allows me more time for the holidays in December and I get to go do it all over again for longer.
The flight back left much to be desired. I was sat next to a couple that apparently had just reunited or were just obnoxiously happy to be sitting next to each other because they would not stop touching and groping one another. I was waiting for a cock to come out which would have given me the opportunity to punch them both in the face. Thankfully all genitalia was kept in the pants and I did my best to ignore them for the most part. Shut up, I'm bitter.
I came home to the Brindle Beast and my upstairs neighbors participating in a Lucha Libre match (I assume) that has went on for the last 4 hours. I don't know who is winning (I'm rooting for the baby) but from what it sounds like there are a lot of body slams taking place everywhere in the apartment. Not much talking though oddly.
I discussed planes and automobiles but left out trains.... but now I'm reminded of an Always Sunny episode I watched last night involving trains being ran by multiple Santa's on Charlie's Mom. Happy Holidays.

rosie the riveter

So I have come to the realization that I can take care of myself, fend for myself and make some pretty cool shit on top of that. I've noticed lately that I multitask like a mofo. Making lunches, cooking dinner, cleaning, bills, laundry, and all of that. I think my Mom raised me right...which leads me to believe all of those years I thought she was crazy there was a method to her madness. I'm probably going to be the same way if I have a daughter. First I have to work on that whole boyfriend/relationship thing. Meh. In time I'm sure.
So I bought a dresser on craigslist and drove to Clarksville to get it. The entire time I'm thinking "Craigslist Killer, Craigslist Killer, sodomy..." I think it would be terrible to be sodomized then killed, do what you want to my dead body, you can do that the other way around if you want. Turns out it was a pretty normal girl who was moving and needed to get rid of her crap. I took advantage of that situation and made a sweet little purchase for all of $30. After the paint and handles it totalled out to be about $60 and honestly it looks a whole lot sweeter than $60. And it is sooo nice not having clothes all over the floor in stacks because I have quite the tee shirt collection. On top of all around badassery in the design department the weekend consisted of games, beer, and UFC fights. I went to BDubs by myself with the intention of meeting up with friends, unfortunately they called it a night early and I'm sitting by myself surrounded by bloodthirsty dudes waiting for a table. I finally was able to get a table and saw a group of 3 guys standing around looking forlorn and all around inconvenienced. I offered to let them sit with me so a) I didn't look like a huge creeper sitting by myself in a sea of dudes and b) I was being ballsy and was trying to make friends. It turned out well they were really cool and I had fun. One of the guys was the keys/guitarist for Automatic Loveletter and was now in the PhD program at Vandy, the other two were in school as well. The Vandy guy and I made observations and cracks at the people at BDubs for being all hillbilly and southern (he's from Florida mind you). It was nice to talk to someone with that kind of sense of humor. The fights were disappointing due to all of my guys losing but all in all a good time. I was proud of myself for being so assertive.
That move also made me reflect on myself a little more and how much I feel like I've changed over the last 2 years. It's crazy I don't even feel like the same person. I'm overall happier, sillier, and more myself. I take less shit from people but haven't compromised being generous or easygoing. There are obvious hang-ups I still have but I'm working on those.
Can't wait for Wednesday and a much needed trip to the North to see my people and get away from that god forsaken accent for a few days. whew. Now the weather I am not looking forward to but I can't always ask for 70 degree days in November.

take what you take

Well there's a very good possibility there is a tiny faux diamond floating through my intestinal tract right now. Not by choice obviously but I just spent the last ten minutes laying in the prone position on my dining room floor searching for a tiny crystal ball and nearly ate a metal post. Hello Sunday evening. ha. It's difficult to replace a tiny piece if metal back on a post when 15 minutes before that you sliced your pointer finger while cleaning a knife. The bastard is still bleeding, probably all over the keys. Thirty minutes before this I was being asked by a man at the gas station where my boyfriend is because he needed to be with me before I got stolen away. I got eye raped as I was being told this and may have avoided being kidnapped by simply saying 'no thank you' and walking away. I don't know what it is about gas stations that makes me extremely attractive to some men or if men just hang out there to pick up chicks. I guess with the bad economy it's a lot cheaper than going to the club.
This weekend I became fairly acquainted with Mr. Samuel Adams. He makes me giggly and less thirsty, I love him and his wheaty goodness. I finally had friends over my place to hang out. It turned out well and we played those ridiculous drinking games that embarrass me. Oh and Apples to Apples and I LOVE that game. We then went to IHOP and I had difficult keeping in mind it's a family restaurant and use of the word 'fuck' should be kept to a minimum. Oh well. The week was relatively uneventful. I went shopping with my sister and found some more dressy clothes for work because if anyone needs more clothes its me, especially cardigans. I also finally found some boots today that will work with a dress and tights or skinny jeans because apparently I'm trendy...what happened to me? Whatever I'll put my own spin on it, the kids at work with me will call me a 'rocker girl' and I'll feel validated. kidding...sort of..
I have one class left at school and then I'll turn at paper in the 24th and be done with it. I met with an advisor on Thursday and we sat for 45 minutes attempting to figure out how I could go to school full time and work at my current job...turns out, it's impossible unless I do all online classes which I am not a fan of. So at this point I'm just going to apply to UT and another school here and we'll see what happens. I do know that there is no way I'm going to stretch out my Masters degree into 3 or 4 years. Its just not going to happen. I don't even plan on being in Nashville for 4 more years.
I also started running. I pretty much hate running and so does my knee but I've been kind of inspired by one of work friends to get into it. He's training for a marathon while his gf is training for half of a marathon. So I started off at 3 miles a day, I'm going to work on cutting time and then add miles once I get used to it. I ran 5 days this week and my hamstrings, quads and knee protested the entire time. I feel good overall though, I'm going to try to keep it up.
I've only got 7 more days of work until I get to fly to the mitten to have an actual Thanksgiving with my family. I don't even remember what that's like so I'm quite excited for it. On top of that I get to see friends and visit some of my old clients. Yay. Now I just have to figure out a schedule so I can fit everything in those 5 days.
In the meantime I need to find a hobby quick because my down time results in a lot of bored text messages and irritating people. Maybe I'll take up sewing? I need to Shannon this apartment up a bit more...especially with paint.

If you want to destroy my sweater.....

I thought that bugs in the apartment were bad. Then I found one of these little guys.

Yes thats a salamander. So you can imagine my surprise when I casually looked around the room whilst watching a moving and see something squirming. I had to rub my eyes to make sure I wasn't imagining it. He was quite small so I trapped him in a glass. It was suggested that I keep him. He was an uninvited guest, you don't let them stay long. That and he could have telepathically signaled his other bigger slimy homies. No dice. Needless to say I contacted my apartment office to let them know that if they don't want me to burn down the apartment to ensure there are no bugs they would need to come out and do something about it. I'm not sure if they did but I haven't seen any more. I understand they're getting in because it's getting colder and I live near woods but I am not a habitat for creepy animals. I can't stop thinking about a snake getting in and I also had a dream that I ate a tarantula, I'm done with bugs.

Aside from my brush with amphibious intruders the week went pretty well. I worked, went to class and got shit done. I finally got around to going to the skate park again and I'm glad I did. It made me feel more motivated to get out and be active. I've been rather sedentary lately which isn't really like me. I also booked the plane for a visit to the Mitten. Oddly my best friend will be in KY three hours from me now. sucks...I'm hoping to see a few of my friends while I'm in the middle and west side of the state. I'll also be visiting some old clients. I've been getting letters and cards from them and I'd really like them to know I still root for them even though I'm not there anymore. Plus I just kind of miss them and would love to see some of my old coworkers. A majority of my time will be spent with family, hopefully some scrabble playing with Grandma ha. This is the first Thanksgiving I have had off in 4 years so that's pretty exciting.

In the meantime I'm looking for an indoor hobby. The temperatures been dropping significantly and I can't just roam around outside and waste time like I used to and I'm getting cabin fever already (not the movie kind..gross). I'm not the scrap booking kind so that's out. I'm looking at home DIY stuff to make my apartment look more like my style. I'll be doing some painting soon I think. I've always wanted a sewing machine and maybe I'll try my hands at guitar again....because my loud music doesn't irritate my neighbors enough. There is rarely silence in this apartment while I'm here.

I hit my target and made 2 friends outside of work lol. Poor kids, they have no idea. And I haven't weirded out or offended anyone this week. It was a pretty damn good week.

Next week I'll be working, meeting with my advisor and attending my second to last class of the semester. My prof asked me if I was going to continue in the program, when I said yes she said she was really glad to hear it...now may be a great time to ask for a letter of recommendation hehe.

Ants in my pants

Ok, for as much as I love living alone and having the freedom to leave my clothes strewn across the couch, write out my schedule in my underwear and sing all day long in my apartment there are a few issues.
In order of importance:
1. Bugs...living on the ground floor of an apartment often leads to creepy crawly insects getting into my apartment and making themselves at home. The problem isn't killing them (I'm a professional) it's the fact that there is no one else to freak out to about the massive (insert disgusting insect name here) that's crawling on the bathroom floor. I find myself getting all grossed out and talking to myself about how grossed out I am and it's a little weird. Thus far I have killed a long flying bug, a MASSIVE wolf spider and the world's largest cricket. My skin crawls just thinking about it and that's no exaggeration.
2. Night time.... sitting on the couch by yourself trying to figure out which DVD you want to watch tonight because you're too cheap to pay for cable is sad business. It's too quiet so I often have the tv and my itunes going (not so green) and still find myself checking my windows. Also laying in bed knowing that if someone broke in to my apartment I'd be alone and in my underwear attempting to thwart any burglary or rape attempts. My mind wanders quite a bit at night and I've thought through many scenarios.
3. Dinner...it is impossible to cook a meal for one person if you want something that doesn't come out of a box in the freezer. I get really tired of eating leftovers. AND it'd be nice to have someone share dishes responsibility every so often.
4. Embarrassment...so you have a guest and they see a crusty old plate that looks to have been growing mold for weeks sitting on the coffee table. Of course you could easily say 'I'm a big lazy slob, excuse the mess' or you could do what everyone else does....Blame the roommate. Usually it's harmless and saves you the embarrassment of explaining why there are 2 empty boxes of chicken in a biscuit sitting next to a stack or diet coke cans by the couch. Blame. It's easy and no one really gets hurt.
I'm still traumatized by the bug this morning, if any one cares. ha. Anyway....
The week moved as slow as molasses until Friday when it turned into a cheetah...literally. Work was work. Hang outs were hang outs. I enjoyed spending time with anyone that kept me company until Friday.
When Friday finally came it was like my birthday all over again. My two best friends drove all the way from Michigan to visit. We packed in a lot of activities; movies, drinking, the Parthenon, the Grand Ole Opry and touring the city. At times I felt guilty. I felt guilty because it was my fault there was this separation between the three of us and it felt weird. It made me worry that I wasn't a good friend. I'm aware I worry too much so I tried not to let it ruin my time with them. I love my friends and appreciate everything they do for me. Spending 9 hours each way in a car is above and beyond. I think they know that but it never hurts to say it. I felt like me when they were here, I didn't worry about offending anyone or saying something stupid that they wouldn't understand. I miss that normalcy I feel when I'm with them. I'm sure I'll get to that place here in the Bible belt but it will take some time. Also seeing La Dispute yesterday didn't hurt.
On an unrelated note; the accents here still crack me up, the boys never cease to amaze with their tendency to be much more chivalrous (comparatively of course), and I'm still trying to get used to the smiling and friendly strangers. Also the massive amount of Baptist churches that I see every two blocks I drive. Huh.
The juggling will continue this week with friends, work and school. Hopefully I don't drop any balls.....hehe.