Hello, lover.

Lately it seems I have become a woman obsessed. A week ago I looked down at my shoes and thought, "I don't really like these dress shoes anymore, they look old and worn." Since that moment I have spent my free time obsessively searching for THE shoes. The perfect shoes that are functional for everything. They don't exist because apparently I hate everything....anyway, why do I continue to look and look for shoes when I have at least 20 pairs of shoes between my closet and entry room? Not only is it shoes, it's purses, work clothes, dyeing my hair red, painting my toe nails, etc, etc. Are we seeing a theme here? I am the most fortunate girl in the world and I can't seem to remain satisfied with just being still. I'm also frustrated that don't seem to be getting the results I was hoping for in changing my diet, it was much more effective 3 years ago, and I've concluded my metabolism sucks because I'm 27. It just means working harder and being way more active.
I am confronted with this often when I am feeling comfortable. I've got a job, a place to live, a man that adores me (I must be a magician) and a means to start chipping away at the mountain of student loan debt I've acquired. It is NOT time to start looking for a new project. It's time to maintain. I need to learn how to do that.
So that's where things are, seemingly right where they should be. Maybe I'm ok without a bunch of changes happening, it just feels weird to not be constantly working. 

Anyway.

I will say that in my search for the perfect shoes I found a brand that I fell in LOVE with though I haven't talked myself into that price range just yet. 
Hello, lover. 
http://seychellesfootwear.com/Home.tpl?page=singleitem.inc&cart=13081095502&sku=seeligh9ss&H_P_Special=seeligh9ss

Same old song and dance

People.

I haven't liked people much the last few days. Not for any particular reason individually, but as a whole they have either disappointed or angered me significantly the last many hours. So I stay away because that is the easiest thing to do. I crawl into my little cocoon of solitude and you stay out. Stay out. 

Here's the thing about people. I don't typically turn to a lot of people to talk to mostly because I like to solve problems on my own. I do enough thinking that I look at everything six ways from Sunday. Is it good to get other people's perspective? Of course. Do I want it when I'm already agitated? F*ck no. Stay out. I've talked a lot about the fact already that I don't have many friends because I don't like dealing with everything else that comes along with it. When I commit to something, I really commit and in my many years of experience there are not many people out there willing to do the same. Fair-weather friends if you will, so I've avoided wasting time on a lot of people because frankly, I'm not a huge fan of disappointment and I also take a lot of things personally. So be it. It is a cynical view of people but I've spent most of my years being friends with guys because they are better at being a friend. Now I'm getting to a point in my life where it is difficult to make friends with guys my age because their wives or girlfriends don't see it as appropriate. No one is trying to steal your man, ladies. Plus I just don't really know how to interact with women in social settings because of my cynical view of them. Sorry. 

Here's the other thing about people. They disappoint you. They are really good at disappointing you. That is a fact of life that I don't like to ponder often because I feel that I am very choosy about who I lend myself to and I try to choose people that are loyal and trustworthy. People are still people, and they are very flawed, myself included. So when those few people that I bring into my circle disrupt that slow, easy rhythm that I try to surround myself with, it takes a very long time for me to regain that rhythm. If the disruption is large enough, it will set the whole record off track and may even restart the song. In the meantime you start to wonder if it's time for a new album, one with less scratches. There is a very large part of me that wants to put that record into the 'donate' pile, that wonders why I even owned that record in the first place, that wonders why that record even came to have a place on my top playlist, etc. 

It is not a secret that I sometimes fantasize about picking up and leaving town, like a vagabond. It is always an option. It is never a good option but there is always a potential for it to be on a list of ways to solve a problem. Or run away from a problem, I suppose.  It has a lot to do with being a coward and a little to do with the fantasy of being disconnected. Being connected can burn you, hard. And no matter how many times someone tells me that I need people, I will argue with that. I don't want to need people, not one bit. And I am stubborn, and I am flawed. I don't want people to see that. After they do I just want to shut them out. I can rationalize cutting them out completely. I have rationalized it. Especially when I'm finding it difficult to recall the last time there was a truly positive interaction. And maybe that is my fault because all of the interactions were viewed as negative or just menial. It's hard to not view them that way when you are regarded as an afterthought. When you spend so much effort and time building up, encouraging and supporting a person and as soon as something positive happens they run away happily to celebrate with someone else. And then when you are struggling and are in need of similar support or even a distraction, it is seen as a chore or an inconvenience because now their schedule is much more full of easy, peaceful things. And then you feel as small and as insignificant as that laughable gesture of time that they offered because you guilted them into it. And then you just turn angry and toxic and feel bothered by the most minuscule thing that they do. Those things build up and up. Implosion. Irrational decision to cut them out and now we're back trying to get that slow and easy rhythm to return for the sake of your own sanity. 

 That record is not going to play quite the same, there will always be that little scratch that shrieks when the needle hits it. It doesn't necessarily mean you throw out the record, you just learn to live with the flaw. 

Something about friendships that can make a 27 year old feel like she's 15 again. You expect these things not to happen as you get older but relationships are just that. And people are people. 

Those letters won't mean a thing if you ain't got that swing....

Now is the time for me to take some deep breaths and just dive head first into the remainder of this work so I can get it done. There is nothing more satisfying than checking things off of lists that I won't see back on a list ever again. Like 'Worksheet for 548'. The thought makes me want to weep tears of joy. 
I'm not leaving graduate school with the perfect g.p.a. like I had hoped, and by the looks of it I'm not leaving with a full-time job, like I had hoped, either (which leaves me slightly bitter if I were forced to label that feeling). I am leaving with a degree that I stressed over, that challenged me at times, and that left me with a temporary distaste for academia-which will likely change after enough time has passed to forget the bad parts. 
I'm also leaving having had a massive amount of really positive experiences and a greater love and appreciation for social workers. I was lucky to have three really strong, intelligent role models to help me through the process, encourage me, and help me stay sane. And most importantly, they taught me SO MUCH! Not just about managing contracts or child welfare but about being an advocate for myself, learning to push myself through the unpleasant stuff to get to the parts that were worth it, and figuring out my strengths. I seem to surround myself with strong women because I grew up around them. It's an important part of my growth process as well to make sure that it is what I strive to be as well. Maybe that's why I think social work is so great too. It takes the nurturing and empathy skills that are thought of as feminine traits but mixes it with the justice and advocacy pieces that are powerful. 
Tangents aside, I am super grateful for making the decision to start school when I did, after I got some experience under my belt, grew a little thicker skin, learned my tolerance for many things, and met some really amazing people that helped shape me before and during grad school. It's really easy for me to look at where I am and only see what I don't have, but its time to take those deep breaths, let them out, and really open my eyes to see what I have, because it is certainly more than a few letters after my name. 

I didn't know where you were going with this....

What? What's that? A moment to relax and not feel guilty about it? Oh hello, Spring Break. Glad to see you again. Sadly you may be my last. 
I don't actually get a solid week off, but I do get a few days off to not do homework and I get paid to do some extra hours at my internship. It's kind of a win-win. 
Have I mentioned this semester has been crazy?
The Governor signed my bill on Wednesday. It's not really my bill, but I refer to it as such because of the large chunk of time devoted to that little guy. I'm beginning to understand why governmental processes are so freaking slow and inefficient, but that rant is for another time. 
On a mildly related note I have recently found myself in the car pondering ideas about wealth, class and welfare. Sometimes my best thinking happens after I listen to a story on NPR that gets my brain really moving or if I've left a meeting that infuriates or motivates me. Sometimes I would classify them as big picture ideas or personal intellectual growth on a subject, or I'm way off in left field where no one knew what I was thinking. I don't have time to blog in the car, aside from the fact it would be fairly unsafe, I don't have the motivation to make these thoughts coherent. Every so often I will think that I am being so profound that I dictate my thoughts into the notes app on my phone to look at later. Hahah. I don't think profound thoughts. 
I don't typically do this but maybe someone else will have some thoughts. 
This will need to be further thought and maybe reinterpreted or clarified later, but I want to keep thinking about these things:

We enable the cycle of poverty for those in poverty by spending money on entitlement programs because we can't 'afford' to fund projects that empower them. Society finds no value in people that are in poverty. This is a major misconception within society. Every person should be valued and every person should have an opportunity to be an asset to their community and see themselves as valuable. Why aren't we going door to door to discuss micro-enterprise or loans for starting small businesses? Why aren't we encouraging every person in a low income neighborhood to grow fruits and vegetables in their back yard and providing them with the tools to do it? .....(unfinished thought)
This one is a little crazier:
Instead of a child welfare system that removes children from the home, why don't we give parents the opportunity to ask for help? The parents can recognize (most times)when they are struggling and if they know that it is okay to ask for someone to come in and help before some sort of traumatic issue ensues, then they should be able to. If you are using drugs around your kids and in a moment of clarity you realize, 'I shouldn't be doing this' you're currently not left with a lot of choices. You either a) continue doing what you are doing, b) ask a family member (if one is available) to help out or c) you report yourself to child services with drug charges likely to follow. Contrary to popular belief, drug charges don't make you want to quit using drugs, treatment does. 

Yes, I do see room for misuse within that kind of policy but I need more time to sort that one out. Or maybe that is entirely the wrong way to go with that one. 

For the most part I am happy. Grad school is almost over, I'm job hunting and keeping my ears open at the current placement, and I am mostly staying on top of my work. Good things. I'm surprised my brain doesn't shut off, it needs a rest and it really should. 
I have a countdown on my phone of other things I am looking forward to. Also, I am going to Puerto Rico. Well we are starting in Puerto Rice, but it's more of a mini-tour of the Caribbean. We are backpacking and island hopping and I can't wait. 

Yay!!

Have a wonderful week! I hope I will. Spring Breaaaaaaaaak!

School House Rockin' it!

Somehow it is already March. If you know who the time thief is, please thank her for speeding up this last semester for me. 

On a related note, I am carrying so much tension in my back and shoulders that I have created knots in my muscles which make me feel like an arthritic old woman, so there's that. I'm not saying that all of my problems will be solved after Friday, I just know that I'm going to feel a whole lot better about life. This Friday is my Competency exam for Grad school which is basically a comprehensive exam that is taken instead of working on a dissertation. Do I honestly think I'm going to perform so poorly that I won't graduate from school? No. But it is the mere weight of the exam that makes it so terrible. There is a possibility that it could happen, no matter how small, it is still there. That's what I don't like. It seems so punitive. If you don't pass this ridiculous test then no diploma for you! I don't like it. In hindsight the dissertation would have been a better idea......No one picks to do the dissertation, it's an incredible amount of work. Eff that.

So aside from whining about this big test everyday I've actually been pretty productive. My classes leave a lot to be desired. My policy class would have ruined me had I not had any experience in it because the format and the way material is presented makes me want to swallow barbed wire. And I had such high hopes...

My internship could not have been a better decision. It is fantastic. This doesn't always mean stress-free but I have learned more than I could recount right now. I seriously struck practicum gold with both of my internships, I don't know how or why I got so lucky. 

This year has entailed a lot of learning about what my supervisor refers to as 'watching the sausage get made.' The political process is not a pretty thing, not at all. And sometimes I want to Upton Sinclair that whole thing and write a book about how intolerable it is, but then sometimes you get to add your own ingredients. Follow me with this metaphor, it totally makes sense if you think about it. Politics are messy and ugly and most of the time people don't know what is going into it or who is stirring the pot, but the policy comes out in these nicely packaged documents. Trust me, you'd rather not know. Just check the ingredients before consuming anything.
With all that to say I have been a part in creating a piece of legislation, that I think is pretty damn important, and can point to a phrase or an idea that I put into it. By no means did I write it, they have pale-skinned people in the basement of the Capitol that are really good at that. However, I can point to 2 items that I suggested to a person with more power than me, which then went down a short line to the bill's sponsor who said, 'ok, put that in there.' This is the first bill I have ever worked on so I am going to be overly optimistic and excited. I'm ok with that. The great part is, is that it appears that it will pass. We've got a few more days of concurrence and some veto days to get through but the word on the street is that, things are looking good. When and if i becomes a law, I am going to watch the School House Rock "I'm just a Bill" music video. And likely share. Just in case you never saw it, for your viewing pleasure:

 I will survive the rest of this semester, hopefully without an ulcer or mental breakdown.

I hope everyone else has survived this winter, it appears to be coming to a close. I don't want to speak too soon but the temperature today did remind me that there is good in this world...ha.

Have a lovely week. 

Political discourse and run-ins with cult members

Oh geez, I have been neglecting updating everyone on my life. Busy, busy.  To ease the minds of my three readers (I love each and every one of you) I'll give a brief rundown and anecdotes to keep your hearts from breaking any longer. (It will be ok). 
I'm taking a break from reading about political discourse techniques because I have seen enough of that over the past few weeks. My internship held a rally where the legislation I have been working on was announced to have bi-partisan sponsorship. However one of the parties had already submitted a version of it the day before and "didn't remember" but then later said "we just needed to get it in the statute." That was a crazy and frustrating day. The unfortunate thing is that this legislator has been a huge advocate for kids in the past, and the move reflected poorly on him. To me it felt like someone took my cake out of the oven before it was ready and starting cutting it up and serving it while it leaked batter everywhere. Hows that for discourse? Also at the rally I had some less than ideal interactions with pervy men and then another person tell us that he would 'pray for us' after discovering we were from Jefferson County (Louisville). I also had a nice conversation with a Tea Party-er about advocating for children. 
 We've since gotten the bill settled for the most part with the very necessary amendments and it passed in its Committee (forgive me for being vague, I feel like its necessary) and is now moving along at a good pace. Other than the legislative drama things at the internship are going well. Everyone is super busy since the legislators are back in session and I've got so much to do that I was asked to come in an extra 10 hours per week. This means much less time at the coffee shop, but it comes with pay so I'm definitely not complaining, and I'm hoping its one foot in further to a full-time position when I finish school. 
A few weeks ago one of the customers struck up a conversation and disclosed that he was a Masters of Social Work student at the nearby University. He then proceeded to tell me about how social work has helped him to really "find himself" (his words, not mine) and really empower him to become a better person. I told him that was great because it's important not to drag your baggage around with you when you're in a helping profession. He then asked me if I had ever heard about "Woman Within," which I thought was an odd jump but he then explained that a connected program called Mankind is what also really helped him to again, "find myself." He told me to check out the website but to ignore the other sites that talk about them (RED FLAG). So of course when I think about it again I searched for this organization. They use catchy words like "empowering" and "life's journey" and talk about a weekend retreat where apparently showing up late or learning early is very frowned upon. They used very general language and didn't specify exactly what happens during this weekend with strangers but building trust and finding yourself. It is not faith-based and in the FAQs they stated that they were not a cult. Well now, yes I am looking at other sources to see if they are the kool-aid drinking type or they are just Birkenstock wearing hippies that find their power animal. Several other sites talked about the exorbitant amount of money a weekend costs, their penchant for recruiting women that are questioning their sexual orientation and divorcees.  Many of the trainings focus on finding your femininity, celebrating femininity, sexuality, etc. Apparently the brief conversation we had led him to believe I need help finding my femininity. Thanks, bro. 
Last weekend we went to Red River Gorge for Jason's 30th birthday. I understood the need for a hot tub after the near 4 miles of hiking. I now also have a love/hate relationship with hiking. It was nice to get out of town for a bit and hang out. I still ended up working on things, but less than most weekends. J had a really great time with his friends and I think the birthday bash was a hit. I definitely want to go back to Red River Gorge to hike and see the Natural Bridge again when the trees are blossoming. 
I don't think I have been this busy since.....ever. Grad school is busting my ass with the extra studying for my Comps exam, work, internship, yada yada. I'm still figuring out that time management thing and would REALLY love to figure out a time to get regular physical activity thrown in there too. I suppose waking up earlier is an option I just need to mentally break my brain of the habit of pushing 'snooze' in my sleepy stupor every morning. 

Things that are awesome:
Mentors
Counting down days until the end grad school
Sea Salt popcorn
Date nights (infrequent but awesome)
Sunshine in the winter
Natural Bridges

Zero to stupidity in 2 seconds flat

Its insane to me how easy it is for anxiety to seep in.
Background: I noticed that I was no longer friends with a classmate on Facebook and I couldn't remember if I un-friended her or if she un-friended me. This is silly already, but there's a point in here somewhere. So I began to wonder why someone would de-friend me (BECAUSE its life-threatening, right?) and then came to the conclusion that I had offended this person in some way. My first thought was it was likely a religious comment, because as much as I try not to offend, I have never had anything very positive to say about the South or their infatuation with putting Jesus into everything. My distaste for the tendency to put Christianity on this pedestal and not acknowledge that other people have different beliefs makes me crazy(350 million Buddhists and 1.6 Billion Muslims must be mistaken)*. I'm generalizing the views of the entire South, which always makes for an effective argument (obviously) but there it is. I'm constantly worried that I am going to offend someone and I need to knock it off, because then I get thrown into this whirlwind of anxiety that then leads to more anxiety about bigger, more important things. Not only that but when it stems from my thoughts on religion there is the inevitable guilt that comes along with it (and I wasn't even raised Catholic). The beautiful parts of religion (any religion) always get stepped on or misinterpreted to hurt people. My hippie tendency to ask the question, "Can't we all just get along?" exposes its little, naive head. 
Unfortunately that was a very small piece of my thought process that led me here.
I then start worrying about classes, Comps, graduating, jobs, friends, relationships, you name it I thought about it and decided I needed to figure out a way to FIX EVERYTHING! After minutes of rushing thoughts about visiting old friends, studying instead of sleeping and applying to jobs RIGHT NOW I came back to reality. That's when I say, Shannon shut up, it's after 10 pm on a Sunday, what are you going to do about it tonight? Nothing. As much as I want to solve all of my potential problems, I need to consider that these are not even really problems. My life is great, the people I love know that I love them and miss them and I'm usually pretty intelligent so I will figure all of the school stuff out. I consider being more intentional about connecting with people but also need to remember that it is a two way street.
So all-in-all fifteen minutes or so worrying about everything then talking myself back to a normal level of worry/doubt/anxiety is much better than it ever was. So the next time I go from 0-60 in .002 seconds flat I need to remember the following:
-Where is this worry coming from?
-Am I being ridiculous?
-How is this remedied without creating more anxiety?
-Where does the importance of this rate on a scale of feeling chilly to being set on fire?
-Get the eff off of Facebook and focus on something more important-like anything else.

List making is fun and relatively effective. Give it a shot sometime. Maybe use a better scale for level of importance that is suited to your needs. You may hate feeling chilly. Most of the time I state out loud something about chilly willy, laugh and grab a hoodie, so its pretty minor for me.

*Those stats are from wikipedia so maybe don't run off and cite them as credible just yet. 

Hooray for being competent!

Lately I’ve been thinking about little changes. Changes that benefit me, my roommates, my way of functioning, etc. So far the only thing I’ve really concluded is that more sleep would do me some good and to get back on track as far as healthy eating. With everything that I have going on in my life that keeps me so busy there are little things that I can do to head in the right direction. And not in the direction toward crazy-town, which is where grad school wants to send me on a regular basis.

So far the semester has started off on the right foot. All of my classes look like they are going to be interesting and useful. My internship has been going quite well too. I really can't complain about any of it. (YET-ha) Work has been fine as well. I also keep getting things piled on me and have been asked to take the lead on some minor things because apparently I am a very competent individual. Hooray for being competent and extra work.
I did however find out that the trip I was hoping to go on won't be a possibility because of my schedule, my Comps and Jason's spring break. BIG bummer. We are hoping to plan something for the weeks between my classes ending and graduation, pending any job commitments I may have. (If I get a job). We'll figure it out. The plan is to get out of the country and Rome was the idea....I still need to get that passport I've been talking about getting for the last 3 years. Priorities, right?
Super Awesome things to be happy about:
My roommate boyfriend
My best friend roommate
My family
A running car
A great internship
Supportive mentor-types
Not worrying about things that I always worry about

Making positive changes
New clothes and rediscovered shoes
Friends (even if you just have to text)
game nights

<----GRUMPY CAT

Have a wonderful week!

wrapping it all up with a big shiny bow

I've sat down a few times over the past few weeks to write about what I've been up to, but it's much more fun to continue being up to things rather than writing about them. However as this vacation comes to a close I thought it might be time to reflect on these last few weeks of freedom before I get chained to the helm of yet another semester. The beginning of my FINAL semester of graduate school is fast approaching and lately I have been wondering if I'm really ready. I REALLY like 5 week breaks in between semesters and summers filled with jobs that are 8 week long commitments. And as stressful as those semesters are there is always an end date in sight.
Ok, I should stop thinking about school before it has even begun. 
These last few weeks have been awesome. They have been filled with late nights, lots of time with my best friends and a lot of irresponsibility (my version of it anyway, I'm still a worrier, lets be honest). My best friend and I watched a lot of bad tv, we went to the movies without the lingering guilt about reading and papers, I read Bossy Pants by Tina Fey (I now love her more if that's even possible) and The Visible Man by Chuck Klosterman. I spent mornings on the couch with my giant mug of coffee and reading the news on my computer. I did all of the things I usually reserve for the weekends that I don't have to work. I made a piece of art for my roommate for Christmas that turned out well (which is a miracle considering how abysmally crafty I am). Jason and I traversed Michigan for 5 days only spending more than 24 hours in one location, it was fun but towards the end I was ready to come back home. We all spent New Years Eve together eating breakfast, cleaning the house and seeing Django Unchained before abusing our livers with alcohol while ringing in the new year. 

That pretty much brings it to today, the first day of the new year. 
I'm not really one for New Years' resolutions, mostly because I consistently fail at them. After 27 years you kind of have to know to just give up the ghost, its not going to happen. I do like the thought of having an opportunity to reflect on the last year and evaluating how things went, what you hoped would happen, what worked out in your favor, etc. I was a very lucky girl in 2012 and I hope that luck continues. l have a great house where I live with my amazing boyfriend, my best friend and the 2 best cats and 3 best chickens any girl could ask for. I live in a city that seems to mostly match my way of thinking and provides a lot of adventure and exploration in the future. I have an amazing family that I see less of than I prefer but whom I think about constantly. And I have plans, things to look forward to and several goals to obtain. Even on my worst days where I let my anxiety get the best of me I still have so many things to keep me going and for that I am thankful. I have achieved a lot of things in 2012 and have learned even more. I just know that want to be braver, smarter and even more driven in the year to come and obviously keep kicking ass. 
So 2013, let's kick some ass. 

all I want for Christmas

Sitting here with my giant mug of coffee watching the news makes me happy that I have some time off. Actually, I don't have to go back to work until Saturday. I may end up at my internship for some of those days, but let's be honest, I have a hard time staying idle. Watching netflix for several hours a day just doesn't seem like a great option. 
Since finishing this semester I've been working and making money so I can get to Michigan for the holidays. I was kind of a weird week with family health issues, that appear to be resolved and the discovery that a former client of mine in Michigan died. The client was not one that I became very close with, though some of my coworkers may have, however it is still sad news to hear. He was constantly in trouble after leaving the facility I worked at which goes to show you can't make a difference in all of them, even though you hope that you do. 
In the absence of school work we have decorated the house for Christmas, lights on the outside and a decorated tree and stockings. It's been nice to have a tree and turning the lights on when it gets dark, kind of puts you in better spirits. In the absence of work I have also lost the ability to think critically about much or feel intellectually stimulated. Though I have started reading Chuck Klosterman's second novel, The Visible Man. 
I've had trouble answering the question, 'what do you want for Christmas?' I have no freaking idea. I don't need anything. The only thing I want is to get a job once I graduate. That's it. Maybe it can be a very delayed present courtesy of a Louisville nonprofit. 
For the next few weeks I hope for a safe visit to Michigan (maybe with some snow). Seeing some family and friends. Relaxing, eating too much, having fun and smiling. I would love to be able to drink and dance at Jerry Green's club but that may not be in the cards before we head North. I need an excuse to dress up and get fancy for a night.
All I want for Christmas is the following:
Family and Friends
Safe travels for the people I love
Quality time
No stress
and everyone to be happy

Not too much to ask for, right? 

Little bitty update

I'm so very close to being done with this semester......BUT I'm not quite done yet so I'm going to keep this short and sweet. 
This week I spent much of my time doing the same things as normal. Work, school work and internship stuff. On Tuesday I went to Frankfort to attend the first External Review Panel meeting on Child Fatality and Near Fatality.  Needless to say, I had a LOT of opinions about that meeting and became discouraged because it was so poorly prepared. There were a lot of informed, intelligent people there but I really wish everyone had come ready and had spoken up.
One of the weeknights I spent on the couch watching the movie 'Brave' and eating ice cream. It was awesome.
At work we have trivia questions and on Saturday it was World AIDS Day so the trivia question was related to the number of people worldwide that have been diagnosed with HIV/AIDS. One man said it was ZERO because HIV is a hoax. I nearly vomited and I'm really glad I wasn't the one that he said it to. It blows my mind the beliefs that some people hold, especially about things that are drenched in evidence. Wowza.
The same day at work I was told I was going to be trained as a shift leader. That means a raise. A very minimal raise but it helps nonetheless.
Today I finished my blog post for my internship which will be posted on Thursday and I also finished up one class. The other two classes have final assignments due tomorrow. Oh happy day. It will be amazing. And I will sleep all day Wednesday and lay around like a sloth.
Also, The Walking Dead, holy crap I can't wait until February.
Things that are awesome or that I am looking forward to include:
End of the semester submissions
Leisure reading
Admission to Candidacy for Graduation
Decorating the House
Driving less
Cats with catnip
Encouraging words
Heading North
70 degree days in December (global warming, schmobal warming)
Heading South?
Free Coffee
Creating things and being crafty
A decrease in stress

Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink

It's so dry in my house that every time I pet the cat it gives her and I an electric shock. You'd think I'd learn from it and stop doing it but she's so freaking cute I can't help it. Then I get that MGMT song stuck in my head 'shocked me like an electric eel, baby girl, turn me on with your electric feel' and that's bordering on creepy when I sing that to the cat. I sing to her a lot, badly, but with pure intentions. She’s awesome.

This last week was one high levels of stress and then levels of stress so minute that I wasn’t sure if I should worry about something. So I did. I worried about the house catching fire, someone breaking in, getting into a car accident and wondering if I forgot to turn in an assignment. Clearly I function more rationally when I am very busy and don’t have time to worry about bad things happening. Not that the low amount of stress was bad for me, it was quite enjoyable but I still needed to be engaged in something.

So after leaving a meeting on Wednesday I rushed home to visit with my parents and Aunt and Uncle whom stopped by on their way to Nashville. It was good to see them, just not long enough of a visit, however I will see them for Christmas. Once they got back on the road I immediately went to grab coffee and work on my paper that needed to be submitted before midnight, which was completely attainable since I’d be working on it for the last week. As I was completing a cover page and putting finishing touches on it Microsoft word decided it wanted to give me an aneurysm and shut down. Thankfully I had saved repeatedly in the process and was able to pull it back up after I got home and submitted it. Jason’s Mom and Step-dad had come to town while I was still working and were already there by the time I returned home as was Jen’s Mom. We had a full house and it was interesting to observe the different dynamics since the personalities were composed of a very broad range of individual. That night we drank wine and played games. ‘Twas a fun evening.
Thanksgiving Day was also Jen’s birthday so we celebrated doubly. We had really great food, of which I ate too much, and had birthday cake and watched football. It was nice to have a day committed to not being obligated to be anywhere for anything except to just enjoy the day. We went to the bar after the parents went to bed to get birthday drinks and chat.
Friday I got to sleep in a bit (yes!) and we spent the day getting things to improve the chicken coop and some other home projects. After getting supplies we went to Churchill Downs to check out the last weekend of the fall races. That place is crazy and I can’t believe I’ve lived here for 6 months and haven’t visited. I can understand how someone could waste an entire day there. It’s gambling at its finest and the person watching is amazeballs. I will go back there in the spring and take cash so I can sit and watch horses run in circles while drinking mint juleps or bourbon, smoking a cigar and pretending like I’m Bukowski. I’d say things like “Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.” Or “Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink.” Oh to be a writer and a drunk.

 The next two weeks I will be dedicating to finishing out the semester strong and really being effective and efficient regardless of how many hours I’m spending at work or my internship. I just need to push through and be a rock star on the rest of these assignments. (as I imagine a stadium of people chanting my name).
I still haven’t figured out when or how I am getting to Nashville and Michigan over the next few weeks but I’m ignoring those thoughts until after all of my work is done. I’m hoping to pick up extra hours at work so I can pay bills, buy presents, etc but I also need to go see family and friends. NEED is subjective, obviously.

Anyhow….things are great. I need to remind myself of that in 6 days when I am on the verge of a mental breakdown due to stress J

Have a fantastic week. 

being awkward: a biographical tale

I'm in the midst of writing a paper and pretending that it isn't due in a few short days. My mind wandered, and it got me thinking. 
I'm fairly sure that most of the people that I have met in the last few years wonder if I even have a personality. The others wonder where it goes 70% of the time. I would consider myself the type of person that warms up very slowly to other people. Very slowly. Unless there is an odd connection or similar interests that creates large amounts of conversation, like music or social work. My best friend and I didn't like each other when we met, slowly over time we became better friends. After 6 years I finally feel comfortable saying anything that is on my mind, anything. I feel that as I've gotten older I've gotten a little better about this, but it is still a slow process. I've also realized then if I don't speak up it just leads to frustration or anxiety. I guess what got me thinking about this was the fact that even though I've been in Louisville for six months now, I don't feel connected to anyone that I didn't already have a connection with before moving. The two people I still confide in are just geographically closer now. It seems that I don't really know how to make friends with people now that I'm older. There are all sorts of people that I have met here that I really like, but it doesn't extend past the context in which we have met. Sometimes I wonder if the conversations I have with some people are just obligatory because it would be rude to be in close proximity and not make conversation. In most social situations I sit there and wonder, in a very adolescent kind of way, if these people have any interest in getting to know me. Then I just remain quiet and look like the shy girl that doesn't have any opinions or I make weird statements because my sense of humor is strange. Then I get all red-faced. I have the opportunity to over-analyze these interactions and wonder if I even want to be around other people. I'm going to end up like Thoreau or Kaczynski and hole up in a shack in the woods doing math problems or writing metaphors about ponds.
I guess it's just really about courage. The courage to be myself around people and make an effort to connect. If I can't do that then I only have myself to blame. I can completely understand how people become shut-ins and collect things like vintage furniture or cats. If given the opportunity I would do both.
Anyway....odd thoughts.
This past week was much of the same. Work, school, work. 
My supervisor has made several remarks about how well I've been doing, my executive director has made remarks about hiring good interns. I blush a lot at my internship lately. 
Last night we went out to celebrates Jen's birthday since her actual birthday is on Thanksgiving. We went to a Moped Thanksgiving potluck where Jen and I both drank our weight in alcoholic slushies. We ate lots of great food and socialized. It was a good time. Jason drove us to the bar and then to another where we danced and people watched. Jen had fun which was the main objective. We've all got family coming down this week so I've made an extensive list of things to do before that happens. Now finding time to complete that list is going to be the interesting part. It will get done. I just need to stop wasting so much time on the internet. Oops.
Things that are awesome:
Booze slushies
Dancing (however awkward it looks)
sleeping in
having 3 weeks left in the semester
coffee
my hetero lifemates (Jason and Jen)
new music
old music
singing in the car
days off
compliments
dressing up
cuddling
comfy sweaters
finger-less gloves

Have a great, overindulgent week :)

Play needs to outweigh work

Lately it's been harder and harder to be productive when I need to be. I did not have a day off this week and it doesn't appear that I will for at least another week unless I can get my shift covered next Sunday. My school work is suffering and I am behind in one of my classes and putting in minimal effort in the other two. I hate to admit that. I've had allergy symptoms for over a week and haven't felt 100% because I'm wearing myself thin. I know there is an end in sight to this but the day-to-day is just rough. I really am liking my internship and I feel like that is the only venue that I am putting in any effort. l'm significantly failing my own expectations. I can feel that ball of anxiety quietly growing and eating away at me, making me question everything else. My bad habits and self soothing techniques are coming to a head making me feel even worse. The only thing I can think about lately is getting out. Plotting my escape route and getting away from all of the stress. I've been craving a trip to Michigan or Nashville but can't figure out a way to make those happen because I feel like all if my time is completely consumed with these other obligations. It's that repetitive cycle of stress and anxiety leading to more stress and anxiety. It doesn't feel good. 
I know the things I'm supposed to do to make stress more manageable, as do most people; eat healthily, exercise, get adequate sleep and take the time you need in order to relax. That's the kicker, it's finding the time. TIME. What a joke. I barely had time to get the tire replaced on my car after it went completely flat from a massive hole was ripped into it after running something over. ugh.
Ok so in an effort to not be completely negative and complain-y, here are some good things:
-we were able to help out a young family after their van ran out of gas, they were super nice and we realized that they lived quite close
-I got new boots, brown...not sure yet if I love them
-I'm going to get to see my parents for Thanksgiving, even for a short while
-I realized tonight that I needed to take a break and my best friend came to the rescue
-My T-Rex necklace is a hit amongst the coffee customers
The week was all work and no play until Friday. We had moped kids over and played Cards Against Humanity. I laughed til my eyes watered during the game and went to bed early because I needed it. I listen to my body sometimes. I'm hoping we can find time to play again soon. 
Sometimes you just need to realize when it's ok to get silly and dance around the house or play games or kick leaves around. When I left work today there was a massive collection of leaves perfect for jumping into. There were people around so I just kind of kicked around as I was walking to my car. The crunching under my converse was a satisfying sound that made me think for just a second that nothing is really that serious right now. My life is relatively easy compared to most, even though I struggle and get down, sometimes you just need to trounce through a pile of leaves to make that smile spread across your face.
I'll make it and by the time May comes around I'll look back and understand the stress and frustration paid off. 

jazz hands

Let's be honest, I'm using this blog as a vehicle for further procrastination of a HUGE school assignment that's due in two days. There is still so much to do but the majority of the day has been me fighting to stay focused, non-working internet when we were out and then a work meeting thrown in the middle. I should have started much sooner today but too many good distractions kept me from doing such.
So apparently November is the month that everyone gets all thankful and positive and whatnot. Facebook reflects this notion with daily posts that began on the first of November stating things that people are thankful for. I've also had friends take a different approach to this and make weekly lists of things that make them happy or feel more positive. Don't get me wrong, I think these things are great, but is it just one of those things that people are going to forget to do after the holidays are over? In private, in my own life I have attempted to make a habit of pointing out the positive things. I began doing this after going through a really rough time and seeking out help. It is especially helpful during bad days or bad weeks. It's also hard to do when you're in the throws of a tumultuous, hormone imbalanced day and you just want to cry or sulk. It's funny that the days when you need it the most are the days when you struggle to use it. I'll be the first to admit that it irritates the crap out of me when in the midst of an adult tantrum (the furious, silent kind) someone suggest to just 'focus on the positives'. However, I have noticed that practicing this habit of looking for the positives or the things that make you smile can make those bad days or hours a little easier to transition out of. I haven't done any research on this theory but I'm guessing that is what has helped me.
It's nice to have that little reminder though. It's never a bad thing to have someone ask, 'hey, what makes you happy?' I think people don't do this enough. So I commend my fellow social media friends for making an effort to reflect on those things. Sometimes telling myself "it could be worse" is too general to really fully reflect on what is going well, what is making me happy and how to be more happy with the limited time and resources that I have.
So, to follow suit I will include MY list at the end of this thing.
In the meantime let's wrap up the last week. I worked, and worked for free, and worked some more for free and some more for pay. And studied. I went to trivia on Monday night where I was in a gross mood. And worked up intol yesterday (last night) which was was just what the doctor ordered. Not a real doctor, no doctor would advise the abuse of bourbon that occurred. However, for my soul it was a good night. We laughed and danced our butts off and talked and danced some more until the wee hours of the night. I don't dance often but when I do, its ridiculously and out of rhythm. I'm ok with it. Next week it shall be more of the same. I will work hard and smart and come out of it ready to relax.
So for the list of things that make me smile/happy/content/warm/cozy or just darn positive.......
my roommates (Jason and Jen)
my awesome family (near and far)
Basement Cat (BC) cuddles
knowing that I'm getting closer to my career goals
soft blankets and tiny heaters
hot showers
a clean house
clean sheets
not wearing pants
feeling smart
nerdy games
completing school assignments and hitting that 'submit' button
Tina Fey
dancing 
music-new and old
listening to anything on vinyl
free time
coffee in a giant ceramic mug
my porch swing
the silly chickens in the backyard and letting them eat out of my hand
making food for my loves
leftovers
crunchy leaves on fall days
listening and reflecting
finding new passions
creating
local honey and foreign tea
therapizing (it's a thing)
'catch-up' phone calls with long distance friends
dreams of travelling
the ability move freely, speak about the things I care about and advocate
the notion that there is still so much to do and see
owls
puppies
a new hair-do (some day...)
exploring
long walks
those first days of Spring where EVERYONE is smiling
Michigan State's campus
Babies that I can hand right back to their mothers
my boyfriend's thoughtful acts
my best friend's ability to make me laugh 

umm...you're scary

As soon as I read the words: nominal, interval, ordinal, and ratio in an article I immediately began looking around the room to see what else could interest me more than this article. Everything, everything was more interesting. I began taking an interest in a map of Kentucky on the wall and then decided that I hadn't visited wikipedia in a while. I need to figure out how to love the technical pieces of research, not just the results. 
At 9pm I began wondering when it was bedtime, unfortunately I'm still out "studying". I was productive, and then I wasn't. I can't wait to go back to that frigid house and put on more layers than an onion in order to stay warm. I know this whole 'saving money by not turning the heat on' is beneficial but I REALLY want to just be warm. Before we turn the heat on in the house we have to weather-proof or we may as well just throw dollar bills into the trash for every minute the heat is running. This week I will go to a hardware store and see to it that I don't need to go to bed wondering what the onset symptoms of hypothermia are. Ok, ok, I exaggerate but seriously, it's cold. 
It was a good rest of the week. I finished out my internship and then worked early on Saturday which was nice because I was able to get out of work and get some studying, until I nearly fell asleep in a booth at panera because I had only gotten about 3 hours of sleep the night before. I figured it was time to go home and relax for a minute before starting the process of getting a Halloween costume together. I decided to dress as Joan from Mad Men because she gorgeous, I idolize her and I had to buy practically nothing to pull it off. Not that I pulled off the look completely but it was fun to dress up and spend time on makeup and hair that didn't necessitate me worrying about looking professional. The costume also required me to wear heels which I haven't done since before breaking my ankle. Turns out my new and improved ankle doesn't really enjoy high heels and after about 2 hours I removed them. I'm hoping it just means that more stretching and exercise will remedy that problem. We shall see. This was the end result:

She doesn't always wear glasses but I liked them. I already owned the dress mostly because it is rad and it cost me $6, I just needed to wait for the weather to change to pull it out. Jason's friend Brennen made his costume. It was hilarious. They just ran around most of the night cawing at people. Jen's costume was a success and her makeup was scary. Not scary enough to not get hit on at the burrito place, but that's a-ok. 
My hair also needs to be much redder, which I am considering again but it's a pain in the ass. And who has time for haircuts? I don't. I need to find a 24 hour salon so at 1 am when I can't sleep I can at least be doing something productive. I'll dye my hair and cut my bangs any day of the week at home but I haven't mastered cutting all of my hair, I don't suggest it either. 
Anyway.....I hope we get some trick-or-treaters on Wednesday. This is the first time I have lived in a real house for Halloween in quite some time so I want adorable visitors dressed up as superheroes or princesses. Just no clowns. Please no clowns. We've still got pumpkins to carve, I'm sure we'll do that before Wednesday. I hope! 
I'm looking forward to working an extra shift this week, being a super productive student and contributing something useful to my internship. Big goals this week folks, big, big goals! Again, exaggerating a little but I really just need to survive the week. It just means I'm that much closer to finishing out this semester. 
Have a wonderful week :)

27 years later and I still don't know a damn thing

So I'm 27 years and 1 day old. 324 months. 9,856 days roughly. My body feels older than my mind does. Mostly because of the arthritic knee from a tilted patella and tissue damage in one leg and a plate, screw and 7 pins in my ankle on the other. I've not been kind to my body. It's weird to think that I am in my late twenties and I think it has a lot to do with expectations. The expectations I have for myself with my increasing age and the expectations that society has for a woman of my age. A lot of the people I went to high school with are married, have kids, and real jobs and whatnot. I guess I've never been one to worry about what society expected of me.
So instead of wallowing in all of the things that I haven't accomplished in my 27 years on this earth, I'm going to think about the things that I have done that should make me proud to be where I am.
I graduated college at 21 with a Bachelors degree. I had personal health insurance and a life insurance policy by 22, I got promotions, experience, took chances and moved states away by the age of 24. I went back to school and will have my Masters degree in less than 7 months. I didn't do it all entirely on my own but I feel like for the most part I have made wise choices. I don't regret most things and feel really lucky that I've made it this far with no more than minor aches and pains from recreational mishaps.
When we were out for a birthday dinner Jason asked me some really great questions. 'What do you want to do in your 27th year,' 'What do you regret about last year?' 'What are you looking forward to in the next year?' Most of my answers were career and travel related. I told him I didn't feel like a grownup, he said he didn't either and neither of us were really sure if or when that feeling ever comes. 

The first day of my 27th year was pretty great due to my best friend and my boyfriend and family, and I hope that's an indication of how the rest of the year is going to progress. I'm feeling hopeful, like in my bones feel it for the first time in a while. I've got what I need here and I hope to hold onto it.
The things I have learned I try to carry with me everyday and the things still left to learn are infinite and glorious. There is still so much to learn. 

What I do know is that you can plan and do as much as you want but you've also got to expect some curve balls every so often. A post I saw today on facebook was a perfectly timed little nugget of greatness. "I get out of this world exactly what I put into it." I will continue living my life (as long or short as it may be) in a way that makes me a more positive and kind person than the day before, with the expectation of an 'off' day here and there. I need to spread around the positive if I want it in return, no more, no less. 

And I just need to be me. 

In the eloquent words of Dee Dee Ramone:

I give what I've got to give
I give what I need to live
I give what I've got to give
It's important if I wanna live
I wanna live
I want to live my life
I wanna live
I want to live my life

Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

It's nearly Friday again and every time I get on here I realize I don't know where the time went. The weeks are always too fast and never as productive as I want them to be most times.
I've struggled to find the right way to time manage with my new work schedule. The days I work late I have the opportunity to sleep in and instead of getting up with my alarm in the morning I sleep too late then struggle to be productive. Oh motivation, so elusive sometimes. It's just like everything else, a couple weeks of self-discipline then you can get into the swing of things. I need to do that with a few different things in my life.
So one of the things I've learned at my internship is when you're low man on the totem pole you don't get a lot of credit for the work you put in (though I don't know what I'm expecting) and I've also learned that I don't like the drama of politics. I love politics and the the process, it's exciting and interesting but I don't like the games, brown nosing, or personal agendas. I sat and watched a Senator tell a Secretary that she heard 'from somewhere' a particular fact about a bit discussion that was happening. This is vague but it would take a lot more to get into than I care to write about. Long story short the 'source from somewhere' was her. She made a statement in the newspaper about the exact fact that she brought up. I laughed but also felt frustrated. JUST be forthcoming, straight-forward, honest. What happened to that? Everyone knows what you're saying so just say it. That is also my least favorite part about the election season. Every candidate is going to spin information in a way that is positive for them or negative for the opponent. Unfortunately finding the truth is not that easy and most people don't want to put the time and effort into it. Hell, most of the time I don't want to and I try to stay informed. Also, seeing the representatives and senators speaking so informally during the committee meeting left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Where's the professionalism? Most of them looked bored or sleepy or distracted during the presentations. One of them joked that he was going to sell off part of his district to Missouri and then mentioned his cattle. People voted for them to be in that position and they can't be bothered to ask questions or at least look interested. Can we just do a complete government overhaul? Oh what that's what anarchy looks like. The thought of being in a position like theirs one day also crossed my mind. 
I also learned that I need to be much more intentional about asking questions at my internship. Last year I had two fantastic supervisors that were constantly checking in to make sure I was 'getting it.' I think being a second year means being more assertive and self sufficient, especially since my supervisor is constantly busy.
These past few days I have been thinking a lot about what I want to be when I 'grow up' and I have come to the conclusion that I have NO idea. I don't know what I'm good at when it comes to social work. I know I have a skill set but I need to identify where those strengths are going to be best used. I can rule out lobbying, I just don't see any part of me wanting to do that. I don't have the heart yet to rule out clinical because that's where a lot of my experience lies. I love research (not so much the very technical parts) as well as the notion that collecting data is essential to this work because it very much is. How do you know if something is or isn't working if you're not analyzing the outcomes? It just seems like common sense. But where does that leave me? I still like the idea of hopping from city to city and doing neighborhood assessments to see where the gaps in services and needs are but I don't know how you can make a career out of it. (Thanks for hanging in there on these nerdy tangents). I need to just find a foundation that will hire me as a contractor to do whatever social work-y thing I want. It has been exactly a year since I destroyed my ankle and had surgery so I intend to mark that anniversary with some fancy new boots to hide the scar (with birthday money, because I still get birthday money even after 26 *ahem, 27, years of my parents enduring me).
I'm looking forward to a date night with my main squeeze, the weekend to get some school work done and hopefully some pumpkin carving and hot cider. I LOVE the fall. I want to rake up leaves and kick them around. I want to take a drive and then a walk and breathe in that fall air and admire those vibrant fall colors before the succumb to the grays of winter. I want to hear the crunch of leaves under my brand new boots. 

Watch out for that one, he's a creeper

Some days I think my brain has turned to mush and is going to start leaking from my ears. Other days I think that my brain has up and moved on to greener pastures. My second year of grad school is in full swing. 24 hours at my internship, 16+ hours at my job and hours upon hours of school work a week, I wouldn't blame my brain for wanting to get out of dodge as well. Lately I've had crazy thoughts of just packing up my clothes and getting out of town as well. Not because I don't like where I am, I just want to run away from all of the responsibility. Who hasn't wanted to just run away on occasion, right? I'm pretty sure my Mom did when she had two teenage girls in the house that fought about everything.  I guess my fight or flight response is flight. Wowza.
Lately the idea of turning 27 is unfathomable. I don't feel like 26 most days anyway and now I have to claim one more year? No thanks, sir. Does it make a difference in my daily life? No, but this also isn't where I pictured myself at this age. My fourteen year old self would have said that by 27 I would have my medical degree and be in a third world country with Doctors without Borders. Turns out I suck at chemistry so that whole 'medical school' thing didn't really pan out. Expectations, schmexpectations.
I suppose I will continue to take things one day at a time and hope that the mounting stress doesn't negatively effect my relationships and social life. Obviously I don't have much of a social life anyway but when I do have time for things like trivia or board games I want to take advantage.
I'm liking work more and more because the people I work with are pretty rad. The job keeps me on my feet and around people that are typically pretty pleasant. I've acquired an admirer of sorts that came in twice today and wanted to have an extended conversation about himself and tell me that he just wants to hang out and talk to me all day. Meanwhile we were super busy and he just wasn't getting that I was at work and I was friendly to him because that's my job not because I wanted to know his life history. My coworker intentionally mentioned my having a boyfriend but the dude didn't seem to care. He was hanging out again when it was time for me to clock out at which point I had planned to just stay at work and study. Instead I decided to leave knowing I wasn't going to be left alone. My coworker warned me about that one, and some others that like to linger around the baristas.
So, for the most part, I don't have time for much except what I have to do and  don't know what I would be doing if I wasn't so busy. Oh life.
I'm hoping that I get to see some Michigan and Nashville people at some point over the next two months. I need a vacation.
Have a wonderful week.

Time management: two dirty words put together

Again, it's Sunday and I have no idea where the week sped away to. I do know that I had to skip Monday night trivia because I woke up obscenely early for work on Tuesday (4:50 am is obscene!). It was my first full shift as a shadow but I was making drinks and working the register and jittery from what I can only assume was osmosis of caffeine into my body via coffee grounds all over. Wednesday I spent the entire day preparing for a meeting at my internship. Thursday was back at work learning away. Friday I was at my internship awkwardly presenting information to folks in a policy steering committee. After leaving the meeting at 4:30 I drove back across town to work til 11pm. Friday was a long day and made me wonder how I used to do all those doubles at the residential a few years ago. After getting home from work on Friday I got back with just enough time to join in on a board game and kick everyone's ass. I then promptly did a victory lap and went to sleep. I was fortunate to have the rest of the weekend off of work to do school work. Or attempt to do school work. I was (and still am) having some major attention and concentration issues. I need to get back into my study groove.Likely it is a phase and will right itself soon with a little push of motivation.
I really like my job. I like it because it's fun and relaxed and most of the time the customers are really cool. It's a big change from working with teenagers that are involuntary clients. Though I think the best part about my job is that when I clock out I don't think about it again until I have to clock back in. I don't worry about it and that is awesome. I can't say the same for my internship or school but that's to be expected. 
Yesterday (most of it) was fantastic and just what I needed. I drove J to work around 10 a.m. and ran errands, made coffee and did some school work. While running errands Jason told me that he found someone to cover his second shift of the day so instead of getting out at 2 a.m. he'd be done with work by 4:30 and we would get to hang out, no studying involved. So instead of continuing to work until he got out I spent the rest of the afternoon dancing around the house and cutting my bangs. (Seriously, attention issues). After getting out of work I had J go with me to Walgreens before heading back home. Long story short without too much personal information disclosed I discovered my brand new health insurance that I pay for out of pocket doesn't do the only thing I need it to do, which is cover the ONLY prescription I have so I'm not paying $108 every month. There is no generic and it's what my Doc put me on so, what do you do? Also, under the Affordable Care Act, back in August a piece of the policy went into effect that addresses preventative care and my insurance company is supposed to cover this prescription. Needless to say my hormonal ass began CRYING, yes, tears in my eyes, after the pharmacist made two phone calls and still had to charge me $73 for my prescription. I'm in school and make minimum wage at my part time job, I can't afford that every month, obviously. So tomorrow I will be making as many phone calls as necessary to remedy this, even if it means that I have to go on two medications instead of the one to make it cheaper. It makes zero sense I realize but nor does the healthcare system either.
After Jason did his best to cheer me up we decided that putt putt golf and Mexican food from a taco truck would do the trick. We waited for Jen to get out of work and the three of us met up with another friend. The BEST Mexican food I have eaten, ever. Yum. While hanging in the parking lot after eating J noticed that the liquor store in the same parking lot sold slushies with booze. It was like a magical dream come true. So putt putt was played (badly) and laughing ensued. After putt putt we went to the usual haunt and stayed out later than we should have. It was a great night and completely took my mind off of my worries until I could address them(tomorrow).
So for the amount of fun I had this weekend, it should have been equally matched with work completed. It was not, now I need to manage my time this week to make sure I stay on top of things. Oh grad school, you are a time stealing jerk, but I love you anyway.
So, this week I am looking forward to being productive and working. I'm also looking forward to our House warming party on Saturday (FINALLY). 
Have a wonderful week :)