Monday, December 5, 2011

I'm gonna leave my body, gonna lose my mind

The other morning, I think it was Wednesday I had the opportunity to sleep in since my classes are now over. Instead of doing that I woke up at 6:30 in the morning with my heart pounding because of this:
 I had a dream that a spider (this is my very accurate rendering) was ferociously attacking me. He wasn't an ordinary spider this guy was the size of a kitten and didn't seem to mind the light or my attempts to kill him. In my dream he was stalking my moves. He'd pop up out of nowhere. And when he finally got to me there were people around just watching in horror as he bit me with his beastly fangs. And then I woke up. Don't let the picture fool you, he was terrifying. (my skills with MS Paint aren't quite refined yet).  After waking up I shook out my blankets and looked under my pillow for spiders. I hate spiders, especially in Tennessee where I have seen some gnarly ones. After I convinced myself that there were no spiders in my bed I fell back asleep for a bit. Friday morning I had a dream that I was in a real-life LOST situation and Saturday morning I woke up after a dream that my current relationship had ended. I probably have a brain tumor with the extensive amount of action the back of my eyelids have seen lately. Or I'm finally getting a sufficient amount of sleep and I have a mental disorder. That's probably more likely than the brain tumor. Though I have had a few headaches lately...
Last week was pretty awesome in that I finished my first semester of grad school and I'm still waiting on one of my grades but it's looking like a solid 4.0. Woot. Even with a broken ankle and all I managed to rock this semester. This week I also finished up my internship until January (except one council meeting tomorrow) and I got my semester evaluation from my supervisors. They have been really happy with my performance and had only one critique for me regarding supervision. They also said they now have really high expectations for me after this semester because they now know what I'm capable of. That may come back to bite me in the ass. I need to remember I don't always need to be an over-achiever. So as far as academics I was flying pretty high. I also made a pretty nice amount of cash for babysitting. Some other aspects of life didn't go as swimmingly this week but I can't expect things to go smoothly all the time. 
Had a little family scare and I'm waiting to hear about some doctors visits until I feel less restless. I'm sure things are going to be just fine and I'm trying to stay positive about it. I don't like being so far from my family when stuff like this comes up. It also makes me realize that I suck at communicating with some of my family. Need to work on that I suppose. 
This week I should have been working on dealing with disappointment when things don't go as planned. That's what happens when you grow up not dealing with much disappointment, you kind of expect things to go the way you expect them to all the time. I don't throw a fit like one would expect of a spoiled girl, I withdraw and try to figure out how to deal with the change in plans. I can see how people could come to resent a person like that though. And why it might cause problems. 
Ankle update: Still on crutches. My ankle is beginning to look like that of a normal person's. It's nice to be able to look down at my ankle after taking of the massive walking boot and not be horrified by the swollen cankle that I had a few weeks ago. It's not normal sized by any means but I have a defined ankle again. Doctor's appointment in two days where I am hoping he will tell me no more crutches. If he doesn't I may beat him with one.... or at least fantasize about it as I nod my head an stifle a cry of frustration. We'll see what happens I suppose. 
Other than the ankle and the crazy dreams I'm thankful to have my physical health. I'm also thankful for having the opportunity to be back in school and take advantage of the breaks in school. Now let's make the best of it. 

Have a wonderful week :)

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